I narrow my eyes, finding her annoyance to be cute, even if it is directed at me. "I know that,” I say, gentling my voice. “And I know how important this place is to you. I'm not asking you to abandon the farm completely."
"Then what are you asking?"
Reaching across the table, I take her hand in mine again, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles soothingly to bring the tension in the room down. "What am I asking?" I adjust slightly in my seat and make sure she's giving me her full attention before I continue. "I'm asking you to marry me, Kym. And I'm trying to figure out how the fuck we do that without putting a strain on the farm, me giving up my work, or us being apart."
It takes her a moment to respond, just like I expected. Her eyes widen a little, and she stares at me for a long moment as she processes what I just said. I can see the trains of thought rolling through her mind as she searches for an answer where everyone involved wins. In the end, the look she wears is one of defeat, and she reaches up to the hollow of her throat to rub the skin between her thumb and pointer finger.
"I... want to say yes to you, Hayes. But I don't know how we do this." Her brows furrow, and it brings my heart right into my throat. "Maybe we... Maybe we just have to accept that you need to go and I need to stay, and trust that whatever this thing between us is, it's strong enough to exist in the in between. Maybe that's all we'll really have."
I try to let her words sink in, trying to find the bright side of the situation. Unfortunately, I'm not able to find much. I really don't want to accept that. The thought of being apart from her sucks a lot more than I care to admit. And if the in between is all I get, it just might destroy me.
Letting out a heavy sigh, I stand from the table, taking my plate into the kitchen. "I should get to work. My shift starts soon."
"Will I see you tonight?"
"You'll see me every night, trouble," I say as I grab my bag and head out the door.There has to be another way to make this work...
KYM
"What would you do if you were me?" I ask Mariah and Regina after calling an emergency meeting with them so I could talk about the roadblock Hayes and I have just hit. It's been so easy to get caught up in our feelings that sitting down and actually planning out exactly how our lives would fit together has fallen by the wayside. And as far as I can tell, there are no simple answers to our problems. We have no idea how to make this whole thing work.
"I don't think I've ever liked a man as much as you like Hayes, Kym," Mariah says, giving me a solemn smile. "So I think my choice would be rather selfish compared. But I'd like to think that if I did ever findthatguy for me, I'd be willing to sacrifice some of what I want to meet him halfway."
"Halfway." I sigh, leaning against the porch railing as I watch a bird scratching around in the grass to find bugs for its lunch. "Meeting him halfway still means leaving the farm for a spell. How's Josh supposed to cope?"
"I could pitch in." Regina reaches out and gives my arm a reassuring squeeze. "I mean, if you and Hayes could split your time between the farm and the shearing contracts, then I think we could make it work."
"That's not fair to you either. You already have a job that takes up plenty of your time."
"Not so much that I can't help out while you're not here," she says. "I know I'm not much of a farm girl, but I can take all that admin and stock control off your hands. Then the other hands can all pitch in and pick up the slack."
"That's a big ask," I say, a tight feeling pulling at my gut because the last thing I've ever wanted is to leave the farm. I saw how much strain my older brother's leaving put on Josh and the other hands, and as much as I don't resent Theo for choosing his own path outside the family business, I swore to myself that I'd never do the same. Not when Josh has always been so good to me. I mean, the man splits the farm's profits with me even though they're legally all his since he's the one Dad Willed the farm to. It feels wrong walking away when we're supposed to be a team.
"You're not asking, Kym. I'm offering," Regina says with a smile. "You're my family now, and Josh and I only want what's best for you. And if what's best takes you away from the farm for a bit, then so be it. There'll always be space for you when you return. I'm sure we can even find space for Hayes too, if that's what he wants."
"Am I crazy even considering this?" I ask, feeling hopeful but nervous as I look between my two friends. "I've barely known him a full week."
Mariah gives me a shrug. "I think the bigger question is, would you be crazy to let this guy go?"
Her words hit hard, sobering me as I stand there and stare out over the fields. With the way I feel about Hayes, it does seem crazy to let him go. In fact, I can't even fathom the idea in my head.
As much as I love this farm and everything it represents, I can't ignore the pull that Hayes has on me. It's like he's a magnet, and no matter how far away I am, I still feel the tug of him. Maybe it's OK to go and explore that. Maybe it's time to see what this next chapter in my life has in store for me. And if it takes me away from the farm, then so be it.
"I need to talk to Hayes," I say, my voice determined as I turn to Regina and Mariah. "If he's open to splitting our time between the farm and his shearing, then I think I want to give this a try. To see where things go with him."
Regina and Mariah both smile, their faces lighting up with excitement. "That's amazing, Kym!" Regina says as I thank them both and start speed-walking back to the farm.
"You go get him!" Mariah calls out. "Just don't run too fast. We don't want you tripping and destroying that man's nuts again!"
"Think of your future children!" Regina adds. And as I hold my hand above my head and give them the middle-finger salute, their cackles of laughter float out through the air, making me smile as I think about everything that's happened since Hayes entered my life. It's been chaotic and wonderful, and I can't wait to embark on this new adventure with him.
I just need to get both him and Josh to agree to it first...
HAYES
Pulling the front door closed as I leave the farmhouse, I let out a heavy breath. I had no idea how that conversation was going to go, but now that it's done, I'm glad I went through with it.
"You sitting out here waiting for me?" I ask when Miffy's white golden tails starts thumping the porch when she sees me. I crouch down and give her a pet. "Sweet like your mom, you are." I scratch her behind her ears, and she rolls to give me access to her belly. It makes me laugh.
