Sometimes, I’d lock myself in the basement and let her be my world. My crazy felt better than trying to be sane. When I was in a delusion, I wasn’t wrong. I existed as a ball of emotions and colors.
“Do you want to go to the forest or the basement?” my dad asked.
Myheart skipped a beat. I thought the basement was my secret.
“I’ve known about the basement for months, honey. How could I not? You leave piles of fibers and plastics hidden in corners. All your baby pictures were in an album down there.”
I held my hands together and rocked.
“The album with a green cover. They were the last pictures of you and Mom before cancer took her.”
I swallowed. I remembered. I touched the album, and before I could open it, it dissolved into sheets of plastic, paper, and dyes. I hadn’t considered what was in it.
“You have it all backed up, right?” I asked.
My dad nodded, and my guilt eased.
“I don’t understand how you do it. I set up cameras you couldn’t have known about down there, yet they always stop working during your episodes. There are alarms on the doors to let me know when you go down, yet they don’t go off.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. We’d been over and over this. My other personality was brilliant. If I could only control her, we could rule the world.
“You never talk about Mom,” I said instead.
“She was too good for this world, and she loved us both until her dying breath. There isn’t much more to say.” My dad stood. “Forest or basement?”
“We have to enjoy this weather while we have it.” Everly clung to my arm as we strolled around the courtyard of the Great Hall, straight out of a regency-era romance. Brit walked just behind us like a bodyguard.I had no idea how Cayden got Hero away from his sister, but I wasn’t going to question it.
I steered us to the side as another couple appeared, but Everly held her ground. The couple had to move off the path to avoid hitting us, and whispers flew through the air. There were quite a few people out today, lovers and groups of friends.
I looked at Everly a second time. She wasn’t dressed in her trainee uniform but in a lovely dress of light pink and yellow that contrasted with her dark hair. Her makeup sparkled in the sunlight.
I stumbled. “Are we on a date?”
Everly’s trilling laugh filled the air. “The most public one I could come up with.”
“I’m not dressed for it!” I exclaimed.
“Exactly,” Everly cackled. “It’s not proper at all. This is amazing!”
I side-eyed Everly skeptically before smiling to myself. Brit used her physical fists to fight for what she believed in. Now, Everly was using me to stage her rebellion. Maybe all of this was to piss off her twin, but a part of me wondered if it wasn’t more.
My friends were amazing. If they were manifestations of my subconscious, did that make me amazing?
I wrinkled my nose. It didn’t. I hadn’t done jack shit for myself.
“Can I ask you guys about something?” I looked over my shoulder to make sure Brit knew she was included.
“Aye,” Brit said. She led the two of us off to a corner with a very romantic, though uncomfortable, stone bench for two that overlooked the promenade. Everly and I sat, though Brit crowded close so she could hear.
“I can’t leave the castle,” I started.
I shared my encounter with Ezra, but I skipped over the gym, sauna, Alun, and all my confusing feelings… which left me with very little to goon. I quickly moved on to Chancellor Morgen’s warning and then everyone’s efforts to influence my friendships here.
“No,” Everly said, for probably the tenth time since I started. “That did not happen.”
I widened my eyes and bobbed my head. “Yup. After I ran, he literally handed me to Rowan and was like, ‘Rowan would make a good friend.’”
“It was Rowan’s suitress who started all those horrible rumors about you!” Everly exclaimed. “And even after she left the castle, he still didn’t stand up for you! He would not make a good friend. And don’t get me started on the Silvers. I don’t know Seth, but think sheep. So many sheep. Their fortune is in wool and mutton. Do you want to spend the rest of your life in itchy shirts?”
