“And they sent an entire box to let me know?” I felt stupid asking, but I didn’t know what else to say.
“No. This…” Pain filled my dad’s face, making the wrinkles etch deep lines across his skin. “This is why you need the surgery.”
I tilted the box toward me. Inside, a collection of plastic freezer bags filled with colorful bits was haphazardly stacked. I picked up the firstone. His handwriting sprawled across it with the date, time, and name of an object. I stared at it, frozen. I’d been three when he labeled this.
“I was there the first time you touched something and reduced it to bits.” My dad’s voice trembled now, and I could hear the weight of regret in each word. “I couldn’t believe my eyes. And then you did it again and again. I praised you for it and gave you all kinds of attention, which made you do it more. And then you went to preschool and did it there. Except none of the teachers saw it; only the other kids.”
The words broke something in me, and I squeezed the bag tighter, trying to hold it together.
He took a drink. “They told me I was a bad parent for letting you believe in things that weren’t real. Over the next year, I had to stop praising you. Toddlers don’t understand subtlety, and it was either all or nothing. When you got a little older, one of your teachers showed me a video of you pulling every fiber out of a blanket and claiming you were magical… and I knew I’d done that to you. Magic isn’t real. I’d been so excited for you to be different that I hadn’t loved you for everything else.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I squeezed the bag filled with my demolished childhood.
“So, I told you to stop. Instead of praising you, I chastised you. And you did stop, but then the blackouts started. So, I took you to psychologists who gave you drugs and me advice, and all of that led us to here, my baby, my only child, getting part of her brain cut out.”
“Dad… this isn’t your fault.”
“Isn’t it? I’ve spent twenty years trying to convince both of us you aren’t magical, but that park ranger said one minute he was helping you stand, and the next he was lying naked, in agony with every non-organic part of his body lying in the dirt.”
My dad took another swig.
I squeezed the bag. “Are you saying I’m magical and I shouldn’t get the surgery?”
The colors of the movie flickered across the room.
My dad looked up at me, burped, and hung his head. “No. Quinn.” He rested his hand on the box. “I’m a coward, and I don’t want you to hurt anyone else.” He looked up, clasping his hands together exactly like I do. “I needed you to know that you’re not alone. And I’m sorry. I love being your dad more than anything in the world, but I’m not good at it. At this point, I don’t think what you are matters if you can’t have a meaningful life.”
Tears ran down my face.
I moved the box to the side, slipped onto the floor, and wrapped my arms around my dad. “I love you, too, Dad. I love having you as a dad, more than anything in the world.”
Erick completely changed his tune. Instead of being a complete dick, he let me set the alarm on his TB for my first five a.m. shift on the train. Because I was a woman, it was that simple.
“You need to do what?”Erick exclaimed when I’d asked him last night after the party.
“I have work-study—” I started to explain, but Erick cut me off.
“No. Quinn. This isn’t how the world works. You shouldn’t be taking these placements. You’re a woman. A powerful woman who should be popping out babies. You have a life of ease in any family waiting for you, without all this crap.”
My face scrunched up like I’d bitten into a lemon.
Erick’s scowl deepened. “TheArchitect’s not protecting you.” He stabbed a finger toward our landing. “You’re being harassed, Quinn. Brody’s a piece of work. His parents booted him out after he locked up his older sister for two days because she ‘broke the rules’ and who knows what else he did to others before that. He lied to get through the Architect’s walls. And now he’s free to do whatever he wants. It’s madness.”
I dropped my gaze to the floor.
Erick tossed his arms into the air. “It’s not protection you need, Quinn. He should be showering you with gifts and begging to be between your legs. My family would be.”
I raised an eyebrow. “But not you?”
Erick scowled at me. A hint of something deeper filled his face before it morphed into a sleazy smile. “If you want an Adler Michelson in you, I can make that happen. All you have to do is ask.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Just the alarm, please.”
Erick gave a dramatic bow. “As m’lady doth request.” He took out his TB. “But know this is a shit deal, little sis. You have options.”
I pursed my lips. Before I could respond, a polite knock came from our door. Erick handed me his TB before going down to the landing. The door unlocked and opened. “You look edible. Just up the stairs and I’ll unwrap your delicious packaging.” A moment later, he led a tall woman with milky-white hair and a tight, off-the-shoulder dress toward our communal couch. “My roommate was going to bed, unless you wanted to join us?” Erick offered.
Still slightly intoxicated, I blinked a few times. “You’re going to, um, while I’m here?”
