“I want to understand everything.” Cayden continued. “And I won’t fight for you, or anyone, until I understand the full picture.”
Ezra cocked his head to the side. “Understanding everything is an impossible goal, and understanding the full picture is optimistic at best. Every picture is drawn from one point of view.” Ezra also looked at me. “But I understand wanting to learn.”
I wasn’t sure why Ezra looked at me, so I shrugged.
“Go fight, train as an enforcer, and we’ll fill your evenings with learning.” Ezra looked back at Cayden.
Cayden crossed his arms over his chest. “No.”
Ezra looked down at his scrawl again. “Imagination leans toward technology or spiritual. You have training in healing. Is that the direction you want to go in?”
Neither man looked at me.
“I don’t want to go in one direction.” Cayden let out a frustrated breath. “I want to learn.”
Ezra put down the scrawl. “There’s no room for pure academics in our family. Maybe someday, but everyone contributes, or they don’t stay in the family.”
Cayden rocked, and I bit my lips together. He wanted to stay in the family. I knew he did, but he was going through something. I didn’t fully understand it, but anyone could tell by looking at him.
Ezra’s gaze slipped to me again. This time, I met his bold stare, willing him to give Cayden whatever he wanted. I didn’t know what was going on with us, but Ezra needed to help my friend heal. The stoic commander frowned and pulled his shoulders back before turning to Cayden.
“Your mornings will be spent on our defenses, in whatever capacity I need you, and your afternoons are your own, as long as you can show proof of studies. Be it sitting in on others’ training, one of Chancellor Morgen’s lectures, or labor on current projects. Is that acceptable?”
Ezra looked right at me, not Cayden. Was he compromising as a peace offering to me?
Cayden frowned, looking between us.
I did my best to keep my face even. I hadn’t talked to Ezra about Cayden or Cayden about Ezra. They were different, complicated parts of my life.
“Good enough, for now.” My best friend uncrossed his arms.
Ezra inclined his head. The two moved to his desk, where they exchanged scrawls.
“You can go, Cayden,” Ezra said.
“I’ll stay.” Cayden crossed his arms over his chest. “You still need to talk to Quinn.”
Ezra frowned. “Quinn’s situation is her own. Give us a minute.”
Cayden came to my side and offered me a hand up. I took it. “Quinn's situation is my situation, unless you don’t want me here?” He turned to me.
Did I want to talk to Ezra alone?
On the one hand, yes. Desperately.
On the other, I was still trapped in this castle. What words could he say that would change anything?
“Where do you think I should be in the family?” I asked Ezra, pulling myself up to stand at Cayden’s side. “Let’s start there.”
Ezra narrowed his eyes before taking a deep breath. “I’m not placing you. You either failed or didn’t take our placements. You’re unique and naïve. Until the Architect wakes, you will continue as you have.”
It took his words a few seconds to sink in. “I mean, naïve feels harsh, but maybe not wrong.” Cayden didn’t step in to defend me, so I guess I had to take that one. “But I can still start learning something? Right? Physical? If nothing else, I’ve shown I can work hard.”
Ezra raised a hand. “No. The Architect will wake. There’s no need to rush. I’ve made sure you’re experiencing everything. Once he’s conscious, he will place you.”
My jaw dropped. “I don’t get a choice?”
“No,” Ezra said firmly. His voice grew tired. “Please, Quinn. You’re not like the others. I know you can see that. I’m not equipped to make this decision. Do not make this more difficult than it needs to be.”
