“It was me and my dad,” I answered as honestly as I could. “I wasn’t a healthy child. My area was mostly small families who didn’t look out for each other.”
“How did you have no other family?” Rowan asked. “What happened to your mom?”
I tapped my finger against the saddle, knowing exactly what I wanted to say: ‘I’m from the past or possibly a different reality… or you might all be in my mind, just very detailed figments of my imagination. So, lay off.’ But I wasn’t ready to open that can of worms yet.
“My mom died shortly after I was born,” I said instead. “I don’t really remember her, but I know she loved my dad a lot, and her death devastated him. She and my dad were both only children. They bonded over that. I think my grandma on my mom’s side passed away when I was around nine or ten. I had a great-uncle on my dad’s side, whom I met once. But the Questions have been dwindling.”
Rowan did turn, but his voice softened. “I lost my mom too, when I was a teen.”
My heart bled for both of us. The clopping of hooves filled the silence.
Rowan pulled his shoulders back and glanced behind him to shoot Cayden a hard look. “And the Lawsons?”
Cayden stiffened. “The Lawsons are…” he trailed off.
Rowan grunted. “Still too loyal to give me an adjective?”
Cayden clenched his fist. “You speak to me of loyalty? You follow the Architect as if his word is law, yet you have no concept of the consequences of his actions.”
Rowan’s tight grip on his reins made his horse toss its head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He eased his grip.
“I don’t?” Cayden brought his other hand to his front, caging me between his arms. “Why do you think we’re here right now?”
Rowan raised an eyebrow. “Like, going to The Green?”
“Yes,” Cayden said.
Rowan glanced at me. “Because Quinn needs to sell some stuff.”
“Why would she need to sell stuff?” Cayden asked.
My heart skipped a beat. Did Cayden know about my debt?
Rowan studied me.
“She’s got two work-studies, Rowan.” Cayden rubbed my leg as he spoke. “And the rest of her days are filled with tag-alongs.” A tremor shook his hand. “She’s not been placed. Commander Ezra is isolating her, trying to control who she sees and speaks with. What does that sound like to you?”
I stayed as still as possible; this conversation hadn’t gone where I had expected, not by a long shot.
Rowan cracked his back. “Like she’s poor and behind.”
Ouch, but not wrong.
“She failed most of her placements,” Rowan continued. “And didn’t take the rest. And you might not know this, but the train is the highest-paying job. Technically, it’s not a work-study; you need to have skills to do it. It’s the reason she can be in Grady Hall. Commander Ezra’s showing her favoritism by giving her the position before she took a single placement.” Rowan tossed his hands into the air. “I’m one of Ezra’s generals, and I still do guard shifts to pay for my housing. That’s how the family functions.”
“I don’t care about your guard shifts. That’s not my point,” Cayden said evenly. “Someone’s trying to steer Quinn’s life. They’re taking control away from her. When all your knowledge only comes from one source. It's dangerous. I know.” Cayden swallowed. “Too much.” He squeezed me closer, as if merging our bodies could protect me from whatever haunted him. “Quinn needs the freedom to choose, not whatever the Architect has planned for her.”
“That is literally what our family exists to do,” Rowan growled. “Give people the freedom to choose. The Architect doesn’t have plans for her.”
Cayden took a deep breath. “Then why are we defying Commander Ezra to take Quinn to The Green?”
Rowan frowned. “We are not defying him. He’s overworked, and Quinn wanted to go now. Ezra would have said yes.”
I shook my head. “That has not been my experience. His ‘no’ was very clear.”
Rowan furrowed his eyebrows, but didn’t back down. “He wants you safe, Quinn. You’re powerful and need the right teacher.”
“And let me guess, the Architect’s the right teacher?” Cayden asked.
