He was quiet during his late lunch and barely tasted his meal, too busy running through what had happened in his mind. He could understand that Mother had been shocked, but he’d been stunned and more than a little hurt at the speed with which Mother had rejected him. Vasily had expected surprise, or perhaps even a demand for an explanation. What he hadn’t expected was for Mother to walk away without so much as a second glance.
Mother must hate him.
He dropped his spoon into his soup bowl and stood, carrying it over to the sink and washing it himself. Since he was here well past lunchtime, he could hardly expect the kitchen girls to clean up after him, not when they were already busy with dinner preparation.
He wondered if Mother was busy in the stables or if he’d gone somewhere quiet to get over their fight.
Only, it hadn’t really been a fight, had it?
Vasily ran through their conversation once more, examining it carefully. He’d told Mother who he was, and Mother had excused himself and left.
Vasily was hit by a desperate longing to seek Mother out. After all, Mother hadsaidhe was Vasily’s—no matter what. Surely that had to count for something.
But then, what if, when Vasily went to him, Mother made it clear he wasn’t interested in continuing to court him? What if Mother’s“I can’t”had meant “I can’t be with you”?
Vasily wasn’t sure if his heart could take being rejected twice in a day.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked dejectedly back to his cottage, but when he got there, he stopped with his hand on the doorknob, unable to take the thought of sitting inside with nothing but his thoughts for company.
He turned and walked back up to the castle, letting his feet lead him to the training yard, drawn by the steady thud of boots and the clash of staffs. When he turned the corner of the castle, he was greeted by the sight of the captain of the guard sprawled on his arse in the dirt with a young man standing over him, wearing a stricken expression. “Sorry, Captain! I didn’t mean it!” the boy babbled, hastily offering Janus a hand.
Janus waved him off, standing with a fluid grace that belied his years. “What are you sorry for, Seth?”
“You’re the captain! And I just knocked you down!” The boy’s eyes were as wide as saucers.
Janus laughed. “I’m supposed to be teaching you to fight. If you’ve managed to put me on my arse, I’ve done it right.” He clapped a hand on Seth’s shoulder and looked over at the rest of the young men. “Anyone else want to try their luck?”
“I will,” Vasily found himself saying as he stepped forward.
The captain raised an eyebrow in silent enquiry, and when Vasily jutted his chin out and nodded, Janus picked up a staff and threw it at him. Vasily caught it deftly. He wasn’t an expert by any means, but his father had always insisted his sons be able to defend themselves, so Vasily could hold his own well enough if he had to. And losing himself in the to and fro of a mock battle might be just the thing to distract himself from his thoughts.
They circled each other, Vasily keeping his stance wide and low and his guard up. Janus might be older, but his years of experience meant he was a skilled fighter. A few weeks ago, Vasily had watched him drop a man twice his size with a well-placed blow.
Janus darted forward, his weapon swinging, and Vasily ducked back, lifting his staff to stop the blow. It was enough of a threat to have his heart racing, even though he wasn’t in any real danger. He stopped thinking about Mother and instead focused on finding an opportunity to land a blow of his own.
His staff bounced off Janus’s shoulder, and the man muttered “Whoreson” under his breath, clutching the site of the blow and grimacing. Vasily made the mistake of letting his attention stray, worried he’d done more damage than intended, and Janus was quick to take advantage. He drove forward with a flurry of blows that had Vasily bending backward with his staff extended as he fought them off.
It was while he was unbalanced that Janus kicked the legs right out from under him, and he landed with a solid thump that sent a rattle all the way up his spine. Janus grinned down at him, teeth gleaming. “Again?”
“Again,” Vasily said. He was short of breath, his arse throbbed in a way that told him it would bruise, and he was fairly certain the new recruits were laughing at him, but it was still preferable to sitting around thinking about the way Mother had walked out on him.
The next round ended up much the same as the first one, with him in the dirt. But by the third go-round, all Vasily’s hard-learned lessons started to come back to him, and there were several times when healmostgot the upper hand. He dared to think he might even win this one—right before Janus surged forward and overpowered him in a single bold move that had Vasily flat on his back, his staff knocked from his grip and his hands pinned over his head. He wondered if he’d ever really had a chance.
“That’s enough,” Janus said, panting and ruddy-faced. “Time to let the young bucks have a turn.”
Vasily, whose own chest was heaving like a bellows, grinned. “Oh, I don’t know. I could go another—”
Janus had him flipped onto his front with his arms pulled halfway up his back before he could finish the sentence, and his voice was low as he growled in Vasily’s ear. “We’re done. Let an old man rest.”
It was when he let go and Vasily rolled over that he noticed that Janus’s breathing was still coming in unsteady rasps, and his hairline was stained dark with sweat beading at his temples. “Of course,” he said, getting to his feet and grimacing when he patted at his tender rump to dislodge the dirt there.
Janus stood, resting his elbows on one of the rails surrounding the training ring. “Well, come on then!” he barked at his recruits. “Pair up, the lot of you, and show me what you’ve learned!”
The young men were quick to pair up before stepping into the dirt circle and starting to spar, and under the cover of their clattering staffs and the occasional curse, Janus said quietly, “You told Mother who you are, then?”
Vasily swallowed. “How did you know?” Just thinking about Mother had his stomach tying itself in knots all over again.
Janus shrugged. “Figured you wouldn’t be slinking around the castle in the middle of the day otherwise. I take it he didn’t react well?”
