“Because she’s smiling when she says it. Even more than smiling. She’s glowing. I haven’t seen this Kayla in … in years,” he says, his voice choking up as he gets visibly emotional. And because we’re talking about my favorite subject—making Kayla happy—tears well in my eyes to match his.
He pauses, clearing his throat. “Son, you admitted to not knowing something. That’s the sign of a real man. But I wouldn’tcare if you didn’t make her so happy. Any man who can make my little girl happy makes me happy.”
“That’s all I want,” I say honestly. “Since the moment I met her, I wanted to make her smile. I think I was addicted to it after our first conversation.”
He looks at me seriously. “It won’t all be laughs. Marriage is hard. You two won’t have money problems, but too much money is a problem of its own. Kayla has struggled with the image others have of her since she was just a kid. I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t see it until it was almost too late. Do you know what I’m talking about?”
I pause. My heart slams into my chest, aching for her. “Her eating disorder.”
“We didn’t notice. She learned how to wear the right clothes to hide it from us. But when Jolene had a feeling to go into her room unannounced …” Lawson’s voice stops, like he physically can’t go on. He sniffs and blinks his misty eyes. “She took to treatment beautifully, and I thank God for that every day. But those signs of perfectionism have never gone away. Aldridge was a reflection of that. She didn’t choose him out of love. She chose him because of what he represented.”
“Which was?” I ask, even though I think I know.
“Acceptance. Security. Not the financial kind, but the emotional kind. Being with him made knowing how to present herself easy. Being with you?—”
“Does the opposite.”
“I wouldn’t say that. I think being with you is letting her live her life—not perform it. And son, that might be the first time she’s ever felt that kind of freedom.”
It’s my turn to get too choked up to respond.
“Do you love my daughter?”
“Yes.” I haven’t even told Kayla that, but it’s a truth, fixed and eternal. My feelings for Kayla have eclipsed what I’ve ever felt for anyone.
“She cares deeply, and she hurts deeply, too. Do you think you can protect a heart that carries burdens like hers?”
I set down the knife. “I don’t know. I don’t want to just protect her from the heavy stuff. I want to make her strong enough that the weight doesn’t crush her. And then I want to carry whatever I can, too, not because she needs it, but because I love her too much to let her do it alone.”
Lawson’s eyes hold mine. Then he chuckles. “Well, shoot. Maybe she wasn’t exaggerating at all.”
I take up my knife again with a smile. The meat’s juices hiss as I slice, steam curling upward like it can finally exhale.
I know the feeling.
Upstairs, I hear Kayla’s brothers hooting and yelling through the open window. Their football hits the light pole with a thunk. Gray curses, while Hunter yells like it was the shot that robbed them of making the playoffs. It’s chaotic, loud, and stupidly endearing.
A few minutes later, Lawson and I are back inside. Jolene and Kayla are happily making sweet tea in the kitchen. And Kayla’s brothers have moved to the couches and are tossing the football to each other as they sit.
This place used to feel just right for me, for my lifestyle.
Now, it’s bursting at the seams. I like the sight of it, but I wonder if it makes us look temporary to Kayla’s mom and brothers.
I don’t want them to associate anything about me with temporary.
I place the meat tray on the counter and smile when Kayla sees me. She pads the few steps across the floor and puts her arm around my waist, leaning in.
“Smells good, Cap.”
I kiss the side of her head and hold my lips there. “How are you doing?”
“Good. Everyone likes what they see,” she mutters.
“They haven’t seen anything. I’ve been outside with your dad.”
“They’ve seen me,” she says softly. Then, with her family present, with her brothers and dad only feet away, she gets on her toes and kisses me. It’s quick, but it doesn’t feel fake or forced.
It feels right.
