She laughs, but I’m not sure I’m teasing.
“How are you feeling about the offer, Cap? Are you happy? Nervous? Disappointed? All of the above? Tell me.”
I love how she’s open to any possibility. I love how she cares enough to ask at all instead of just congratulating me and leaving it at that.
“All of the above,” I say. “I’m happy he likes what he sees. Nervous I won’t be up to snuff. Disappointed it wasn’t an outright yes.”
“That makes sense,” she says. “You’ve been waiting for this a long time, haven’t you?”
“That’s the thing: I stopped waiting for it the second I turned it down. I couldn’t keep hoping and stay sane. So I moved on.”
“So was getting called up last season hard, then?”
“Kind of. I couldn’t get comfortable. I wasn’t there because they wanted me; I was there because theyneededme.” My throat aches at the words. If Kayla were in front of my face, I’m not sure I’d be able to speak so freely. But with her three hundred miles away, it’s easier for some reason. “That’s my highlight reel, in a nutshell.”
“Veto.”
I laugh. “What?”
“I’m vetoing what you just said. I’m the Boss, so I have ultimate veto power, and I’m using the heck out of it.”
“I don’t think that applies here?—”
“That’s because you’re too pretty to understand important business concepts like executive vetoes and, like, synergy, probably.”
I laugh harder. “Did you hit your head? Blink twice if you need me to send help.”
“I’m not blinking. The Sean O’Shannan highlight reel isnota montage of people calling you when they’re in their hour of need and you waiting idle between emergencies.” She pauses, like she wants to draw attention to what she says next. Like it matters that I hear her. “Your highlight reel is you caring so much that you make people your top priority.That’swhat you do. You care about people and serve them, so you assume people only want you around when they need something from you.”
She exhales gently, but her words are made of steel. “And I’m not saying no one’s ever taken advantage of that. Hello, Serena. But I don’t think you see all the people who love you so much we’d do anything to keep you around. If that means asking for your help, so be it. We’re not too proud to beg.”
“‘We?’”
I don’t know why I blurt that out, except it’s sticking in my mind like glue, that word.
“Yes. We. You’re a keeper, Captain. I’m starting to like having you around.”
Her words sear into my heart like a tattoo, burning but beautiful.
My mom battled her own demons all her life, and while I’ve forgiven her, it left a mark on me. She left when things got hard, whenever she got overwhelmed or simply wanted more. That was about her, not me and my family. But the message I internalized whenever she came back home was that we would do … until something better came along.
Serena only reinforced that.
I honestly never believed I’d meet a woman who thoughtIwas something better.
Is there a chance Kayla could feel that way about me a month from now?
A year from now?
“I’m yours, Boss. However long you’ll have me.”
My voice is too husky when I say that. Too raw.
Except I could almost think there’s a catch in her voice, too. “Careful, Captain. I may not let you go.”
If she means that—even a little—I’m done for. “I may not let you let me go.”
There’s a pause.
