Take Poppy. She’s like a balloon I keep popping, and she just fills back up again so I can pop her all over.
But Grace is …
Similar, actually. Balanced, kind, good.
She’s been my closest friend for months—the only person I’ve really opened up to. We’ve debated different sentences and outcomes for days on end. Her fairness, her curiosity, her openness and patience—they all drive me crazy half the time, yet I appreciate them more than I can say.
She has everything I’d want in someone—if I were willing to take the plunge. If I knew there’d be chemistry, not just compatibility. If I were ready to take friendship beyond a screen and risk finding out if there’s more.
Is there? Could there be?
I’ve been wondering this for months but haven’t been brave enough to find out.
And it doesn’t help that my thumbs are still tingling from touching Poppy’s face.
I stare at the message.
A week ago, I would’ve said no immediately, would’ve made an excuse about being busy, about keeping things online, about not being ready.
But Poppy’s made me want ... more. Made me think maybe I could let someone in.
I glance at the empty space across from me, where Poppy will be any minute.
Grace is comfortable. Known, yet distant.
Poppy ishere. Tangible and impossible to ignore.
And I’ve been flirting with her. Just a minute ago, with the fake lint on her face. The way I called mustard “gross,” mostly to see her eyes flash. All the teasing.
Why am I doing this? Why am I leaning into thoughts of Poppy when Grace just asked if we should finally meet? Maybebecause Poppy makes me want to try. Makes me think I’m more than a lost cause. And Grace … Grace deserves better than someone who’s falling for someone else before we could even find out if there’s anything between us.
I type:
GreenArrow11
Where is this coming from?
GracieLou
I’ve been thinking about it. We’ve been talking for a long time now. Don’t you ever wonder?
GreenArrow11
Wonder, sure, but I’m not good at this. The real me is harder to take than the online version.
GracieLou
You’re too hard on yourself.
GreenArrow11
I’m really not.
GracieLou
…
Forget I said anything. :)
