My face heats as I register the glances thrown my way, wishing I could go back to invisibility. Some girls appraise me curiously, while others smirk at me while looking me up and down. But even the less amiable gazes are not at the level of the dirty looks I got in Blood Moon. Certainly not enough to make me too uncomfortable.
I need to do this, and I can’t let my anxiety get in the way. Jackson beckons me forward and I walk towards the front of the group with only a slight tremor in my hands. I wish Sofia was here too.
“Okay Emily, as a small female and an omega, you won’t have the same level of strength as me,” Jackson says calmly. He’s stating the obvious, but his words are like a slap to my face. What’s the point of being here if he’s just going to put me down like Aidan always did?
“I’m aware,” I reply curtly before wincing at my carelessness. The last thing I need is to make him angry again. But Jackson’s expression doesn’t change.
“So, you will need to leverage my size against me, move quickly and find any advantage you can exploit,” he finishes.
My eyebrows hit my hairline, and I can only respond with “Oh.” I was wrong. He’s not being cruel. He’s being clinical. And I just thought the worst of someone trying to help me.Such an idiot.
“This is self-defense Emily, you’re here to learn to protect yourself. You didn’t think I was going to point out our differences for no reason, did you?” He responds with a quirked eyebrow.
“Oh, um no, of course not. So how do I do that?”
“Okay, who wants to show off their moves while I attack?” He asks the group and everyone raises their hands before he even finishes his sentence.
“Okay let’s go Jess” he grins at a gorgeous girl who has curly black hair, dark, almost ebony skin, and curves for days. Jess saunters up and then Jackson moves to grab her arm but, in a flash, she has flipped him over and is now straddling his waist. My jaw drops at both the speed at which Jess switched their dynamic and the intimacy of the pose they are now in. My wolf stirs and her snarl takes me by surprise. It's almost possessive.
“Good job, Jess, but remember, the goal with self-defense is always to survive and escape. Gaining the upper hand won’t do much for you if your opponent is stronger and wants to hurt you. And now you’ve lost the element of surprise,” he explains before extending his claws and reaching up to grab her neck.
He’s making his point, but he doesn’t assert his dominance or put pressure on her throat. She doesn’t even seem scared at all, if anything, she looks pissed that her moves haven’t earned her praise.
They get up and he prompts the next she-wolf to be ready for his attack, this time a pretty redhead with a light dusting of freckles and a svelte figure. Jackson wraps his arms into a choke hold and I watch in shock as she throws an elbow backward, driving it into his stomach as she stomps on his foot. Jackson grunts and releases the hold, and she twists before taking several steps back.
“Excellent Annie! You put all your strength in there and if I had been an unranked wolf or even maybe a warrior, that combination would have given you enough time to escape.” Jackson turns towards me as he continues to explain. “The stomach is an ideal place to hit, as it’s soft and you won’t hurt yourself as much as you hurt them. The stomp to the foot in quick succession doesn’t allow your attacker a chance to recover.”
Annie preens at his praise, and from my periphery I notice Jess rolling her eyes. I wonder how many of these omegas are here for Jackson more than the self-defense? And why does that idea annoy me so much? Why is there a sharp twist in my gut? It's ugly, possessive, and completely unwelcome.
Next Jackson goes to throw a punch at a beautiful blonde who is the tallest in the group. The willowy blonde dodges his punch and jumps into a fighting stance with her knees bent and her hands up defensively. Jackson circles her and then she lunges at him, but he quickly overpowers her and pins her to the floor mat.
“Sometimes the best defense is a good offense,” Jackson explains. “But when your attacker has over a hundred pounds on you, then it’s probably not the smartest idea.” He glances at me and something I can’t distinguish flashes across his face.
Jackson continues in this manner, going to attack all the she-wolves in different ways before explaining why the effective moves worked and giving pointers on how to improve the less successful ones. I study every move, every reaction. Jackson never gets angry. He doesn’t seem embarrassed to be beaten. Actually, he seems genuinely happier the more damage they do. The pride on his face is tantalizing, and I desperately want it directed at me.
Finally, I’m the only one left who he hasn’t touched. Anticipation builds low in my stomach. It’s a strange mix of excitement and nervousness that sends a fluttering deep in my stomach. A wave of warmth spreads through me, emanating from my core. My skin tingles, as if tiny electric currents are dancing just beneath the surface.
Jackson locks eyes with mine before turning around and walking over to the weights section of the training area. What is he doing? His shoulders rise and fall as I stare at his back until he calls out, “That’s all for today, ladies.”
My shoulders sag. The rest of the girls call out their thanks and head out of the training room chatting and laughing as they tease each other about their moves today. As the others file out of the room, I remain rooted to my spot on the mat, my thoughts consumed by the questions racing through my mind. A mixture of anticipation and worry swirls in my stomach as I gather my thoughts and summon the courage to approach him.
Maybe I shouldn’t ask. I have no right to question him.
“Can I help you?” He asks with his muscular back to me, sensing my presence remaining.
“Um, I just… uh, I…I wanted to ask why you didn’t give me a chance today,” I mutter quietly, with none of the bravado I had when I decided to stay behind. He turns around and quirks an eyebrow at me.
“I haven’t even started training you yet. Today was about showing you what’s possible.”
“I… I want to try.”
“You think you’re ready for it?” he asks, taking a step towards me. “Are you ready for me to put my hands on you?” He tilts his head to the side curiously—studying me. And I wish I hadn’t waited for everyone else to leave before asking. It’s just the two of us here now and the idea of him placing his hands on me feels equal parts terrifying and irresistible.
I swallow and nod. My throat is suddenly too dry for words. He’s close now—too close. I feel the heat of him, the pull. My wolf perks up, humming under my skin. Like we are about to touch for another—much less practical—reason.
“I need your words, Emily. Do you want me to touch you?”
Shit. His eyes darken and his pupils dilate as he steps closer to me, his body so close that I can feel the heat that emanates from his body. “Yes. Please. I… I want you to touch me,” I say in a breathy whisper.
