I could never cry in front of Aidan. It made him angrier. It always seemed like he wanted my fear and compliance, but all other feelings I had were irritating to him. So, I learned to hold it all inside, to become numb.
After a lazy morning, Sofia calls through my door to let me know she’s back from training.Calls, not knocks. Because she remembered. The thought makes something inside my chest squeeze in the best way.
She has finished her training before mine starts. As an alpha female, Sofia trains with the warriors when Jackson leads training, although she has told me she skips out when Luca is due to be there.
We head down to the pack house kitchen together, and I fill her in on starting one-to-one lessons with Jackson. Her eyebrows rise so high they are practically hitting her hairline.
“He’s training you privately?” she whisper screeches as we arrive in the pack house kitchen, and I shush her quickly, not wanting to draw anyone’s attention.
“Sorry,” she grins, lowering her voice. “It’s just that I’ve never known Jack to offer private lessons before and I know a lot of the omegas and unranked females have asked him. Alotof them,” she whispers conspiratorially, and a spark of unease settles in my stomach.
“He’s just being nice. It’s probably because I was so useless compared to everyone else.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely not it,” Sofia laughs. She has a giddy expression and she's practically vibrating. She has me wondering if I’ve missed something obvious.
I narrow my eyes at her. “Then whatdoyou think it is?”
“Oh, nothing; you’re probably right. He’s just… being nice.” Her facial expression doesn’t at all match up to what she’s saying, but I let it go. I don’t have long here, and I need to get as much as I can from these lessons. I don’t want to overthink myself into not taking them when they’re available.
Still, the flutter in my stomach won’t go away.
Chapter 13
Jackson
At exactly eleven am, her warm scent of coffee and something sweet wafts into the training arena. My wolf perks up instantly, tail wagging like a damn pup. Great. She’s here, and apparently, I’ve completely lost control over myself. I hate how attuned I am to her already.
I can’t have her for so many reasons. I haven’t been with anyone other than casually since Sarah. And Emily is not a casual girl. She deserves someone who will look after her and treat her right. I’m not that guy. Both my wolf and I need to get over whatever the fuck it is we’re feeling.
She walks in, her hood pushed back, her face set with a determined sort of nervousness. I catch myself staring, so I say the first thing that pops into my head.
“You’re late,” I say flatly.
This is good, I tell myself.Create some separation, Jack. Make her think I’m a hardass, keep things professional. It’s safer that way—for both of us. My wolf snarls in disapproval, his hackles rising at the idea of me pushing her away and letting me know he doesn’t agree with this plan.
“Oh, um, sorry, I thought it was eleven?” she stutters.
“Yeah, so I expect you here before eleven. My time is valuable. Are you going to take this seriously?”
I turn to look at her and I can practically see her shrinking smaller. Shit, I’ve probably taken this too far. I’m used to much more forward females, and I forgot—fuck, I forgot what she’s come from. Emily isn’t like that. Or maybe she was, but it’s been beaten out of her.
“I… yes, of course. I’m so sorry. I really appreciate that you’re taking the time to teach me,” she murmurs, gaze locked on the floor.
Right. Time to change tactics before she bolts. “How about we start with the basics. You need to learn to play to your strengths.”
“Um, I... well, I don’t exactly have any of those,” she says softly, still looking down at her feet.
This can’t be how she actually feels. Didn’t she learn anything about her omega abilities in her pack before she got together with her ex? All omegas have some kind of natural strength outside of physicality. A natural gift from the Moon Goddess to ensure that they are valued and protected. Her response makes no sense and it has me feeling like an even bigger asshole.
“What do you mean? Everyone has strengths.”
Her cheeks flush scarlet as her scent spikes with shame. She sucks in a deep breath and her voice trembles. “I’m just not very good at anything useful.”
As soon as I see her eyes get glassy, the distance I was trying to create goes out the window. I’m such a fucking asshole. My wolf huffs out a breath of frustration.
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry; it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m wasting your time. I’ll go.”
