He laughs. A real one. It lights up his face. “You’re a fast learner.”
“Thank you,” I say, my voice breathy. I grin back at him. My smile is goofier than his effortlessly gorgeous crooked one. There’s something about the sincerity in his praise that liquifies my insides. It isn’t baseless flattery; it’s a genuine recognition of my abilities and efforts. He never compliments my strength, only my speed, ability to learn, and my effort. Jackson stares back at me as I beam at him, and something flickers in his eyes.
“What’s next?” I ask.
“I think that’s enough for today. How about we pick it up again tomorrow?”
“That would be great. Thanks so much for doing this, Jackson.” I place my hand on his arm and gaze into his warm brown eyes. I can’t believe how comfortable I'm becoming with him. How I can touch him and make eye contact, it's so unlike me. His calm demeanor and steady gaze fill me with a sense of security, a feeling I would love to get used to.
Even if he is giving me completely mixed messages.
I’m still not sure how he sees me, with part of him seeming to have nothing but disdain for me, but then he is going out of his way to help me. He makes no sense, and it’s unsettling. I like to know where I stand but I can’t get a read on Jackson and I can usually assess other's intentions. But he is probably just being kind by giving me these lessons. And I’m sure I can get past this crush on him.
I won’t be here much longer.
His gaze drops to where my hand rests on his forearm. Then back to my face. His brows furrow and his eyes darken. His large arm bands around my waist and my body tumbles into his, my small curves molding against his hard, muscular form. I gasp and peek up at him, seeing the heat in his eyes. Large fingers splay across my back, holding me against him.
I suck in a sharp breath. My hands press to his chest, but not to push him away. I’m frozen, watching his eyes darken, sensing the hunger radiating from him. And Goddess help me, Iwantit. I want him. My breathing comes in hard pants and my core throbs. But then he steps back abruptly, leaving me cold and confused.Again.
“Don’t be late tomorrow,” he barks as he briskly strides away from me. I stand alone in the training room, watching after him for a few minutes. Utterly perplexed by what just happened.
Chapter 14
Emily
“So, what has you all riled up? Did you perhaps enjoy your private lesson a bittoomuch?” Sofia asks as we settle into pace on our run. Her tone has a teasing tilt to it that has me pulling her move and rolling my eyes.
“Honestly, I’m at a loss to explain it,” I huff, choosing to ignore her inference. “When I arrived, he was kind of rude. But then I got upset, and he softened up and then he was really nice. There were a couple of… I want to say,moments?”
Goddess, it’s like being a teenager grappling with her first crush. But Jackson is confusing. It’s like he has a split personality or something. In one moment he is pulling me closer, eliciting feelings I didn’t know I was capable of having anymore, but the next moment he is pushing me away and will barely look at me.
I don’t get him.
Maybe he sees your pathetic crush, and he’s embarrassed for you.That voice in my head tells me.
“Is that a question?” Sofia laughs, interrupting my thoughts and shoulder-bumping me. I stumble a little, even though she did it lightly. She’s so much stronger than me. She’s tall, athletic, somehow still curvy, and just... powerful.
I need to get stronger.
“Maybe. I don’t know. Like he tucked my hair behind my ear and when I put my hand on his arm, there was a look.” I leave out the part where he pulled me close before jerking away like I’d burned him. That voice in my head has me second-guessing everything, and now I’m not so sure what I actually saw.
“Alook, eh?” Sofia says, serious for a split second before breaking into laughter.
“Ugh, why are you making this so hard?” I cry as I fan my burning cheeks with my hands. But she’s not wrong. I’m probably reading into things way too much.
“Sorry!” Sofia laughs. “But this is too cute! It’s so freaking PG-13 andsounlike Jack to be all mixed messages. He’s usually so straightforward andto the point.”
“Really?” I ask, feeling my eyebrows raising to my hairline. “Because that is not the impression I have gotten, like at all!” I laugh and shake my head as I reflect on my interactions with Jackson to date. I can’t remember a time when he hasn’t completely discombobulated me with how he changes his mood like the weather.
“You like him and I’m pretty sure he likes you, too. Hence, the not knowing how to act around you. It makes sense, and it is freaking adorable,” she responds with a smirk. We continue our run as I ponder that idea.
Could he like me? It seems so unlikely. What would a guy like him want with someone like me? All broken and pathetic. Aidan was clear that he didn’t want me for me; he just wanted me because of the bond he was sure we would have.
And could I possibly like Jackson as more than a fleeting crush? Does it even matter though? My mind is racing as I consider being with another man.
After Aidan, I honestly wasn’t sure I’d ever want to have sex again. But why did my mind just go there? Because no one else is talking about sex except me and I'm obviously not ready for it. And yet… when I think about Jackson’s warm hands on my body. His gravelly voice in my ear. That look when his pupils dilated and his irises turned the golden hue of his wolf. My body craves him in ways my head isn’t ready to deal with.
But then, it’s not like sex is even good for me, so why would I want to initiate it? No. This is ridiculous. It’s been less than two months since I barely escaped Aidan with my life. I’m carrying a lot of scars, and not just the physical ones. Now is not the time to be considering a new relationship.
