“Jackson, please.”
Her words asking me to pleasure her, begging me to, are my undoing. Who am I to deny this fucking perfect she-wolf anything? I slide her leggings and underwear down herlegs and throw them behind me. She squeals when I grab her ankle and pull her towards me so that her ass is at the edge of the bed and drop to my knees on the floor in front of her. I hook her left leg over my shoulder while pressing a kiss on her right knee, then inside her thigh, slowly working towards where she wants me most.
Where I want me most.
And when Ifinallyget to her pussy, I slowly lick from her opening to her clit. My mouth waters at her sweet flavor. She moans and arches off the bed. I band my arm around her stomach, pushing her back down before resuming my languid licks, building her slowly.
“Fuck, your perfect pussy is so sweet,” I say, causing her to moan louder and get even wetter. My girl likes praise and I'm never going to stop giving it to her.
I work a finger into her tight pussy and then add a second. She clamps down around me as I pump in and out, curling my fingers and hitting that magic spot inside her. I increase the tempo of my fingers while alternating between sucking and licking her clit. I can feel her walls tighten around me, and I know she’s close.
“Come for me, be a good girl and come for me,” I say, my lips moving against hers. I suck her clit roughly, and she detonates with a scream, back arched, trembling as she squeezes my fingers like a vise. She rides out her pleasure on my fingers as I continue licking her through it until she collapses back, breathless and boneless, her eyes glazed with pleasure.
I stare up at her and bask in her post-orgasm smile. My wolf puffs out his chest, proud as shit that we made our female happy. Her beautiful face has a softened, dazed expression. She props herself up on her elbows and gazes at me. Her mouth is slightly open and her eyes unfocused. “What was that?” she whimpers. My chest puffs out and I’m probably sporting a shit-eating grin.
“Good orgasm?” I tease before I start kissing along her inside thigh again, ready to make good on my promise of multiples.
Her laugh is breathy. “I mean… I don’t exactly have anything to compare to. Is that what an orgasm feels like? Are they always so… so amazing? How does anyone do anything else whenthatis an option?” She asks in a stunned tone. I chuckle a little before I realize she said she had nothing to compare to.
“Wait, what? You’ve never had an orgasm?” I ask, recoiling a little but unable to not react. Her sleepy, cheerful expression hardens in the blink of an eye. Shit, I’ve said the wrong thing. Her walls practically visibly come back up.
“Aidan didn’t let me eat sometimes. Why would you think he let me have orgasms?” she snaps. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate that name. I hate what he did to her.
My heart beats erratically in my chest, each beat echoing with a mix of regret and anger at my stupid, mindless comment. I’m such an idiot.
“No, no baby, shit, I’m sorry,” I blurt out, reaching for her. “That’s not on you and honestly, being your first is hot as fuck. I just thought… didn’t you ever touch yourself?”
“No, I didn’t,” she says, her tone icy. “I wasn’t allowed.” She’s gone so cold, and the moment has changed. That sexy post-orgasm glow has evaporated and instead an almost businesslike Emily looks right through me.
“I should return the favor.” She reaches for the waistband of my sweatpants. What the hell?
“No, fuck that, not like this,” I growl, grabbing her hand to halt her movement.
“Like what? You don’t want me anymore now you remember how messed up I am?” She sounds angry, but I don’t think that’s what she’s really feeling. I sense her pain. Her hurt, her insecurities. I hate how she does this. She shuts down so easily. And she forgets how fucking amazing she is. How brave, resilient and awe inspiring she is. And she makes assumptions about what I’m thinking when she hasn’t a clue.
“No.Goddess, Emily, no.” I slide my hand to her cheek, tilting her chin to face me. “You havenoidea how sexy you are. The way you came on my fingers? The way you sounded, the way you tasted?” I suck my fingers into my mouth, savoring it. Her breath hitches.
“I can’t understand what kind of man wouldn’t want the joy of experiencing that on repeat. How any male wouldn’t want making you come to be his fucking life’s mission. But I don’t want sex to feel like a trade. You don’toweme shit.”
She swallows hard, her walls faltering but still up.
I pull her closer to me and drop kisses along her neck and the curve of her shoulder. “I want to bury my cock inside you. But not because you’re returning a favor or giving me a hate filled blowjob because you think you're supposed to. Fuck that. I want you begging to suck my cock because you need to taste me more than you need your next fucking breath. Like the way I feel about you.”
She inhales sharply and I think for a second that maybe I went too far. Until she licks her lips and grabs the back of my head, pulling me into a passionate kiss. She straddles my lap and grinds against my quickly hardening cock. Only the material of my sweatpants separates me from slipping inside her.
I can’t keep up with her changing moods, but at least I get it now. That ex of hers has a lot to answer to. His fucked-up ideas are so deeply ingrained that she can’t stop them from messing with her mind. Making her feel like sex is transactional. Like she needs to make me happy even when she doesn’t want to. I need to stop giving her any opportunity to get in her head because, judging by her response right now, she needs this.
I’ve been trying to let her be in charge, thinking that’s what she wants after what that bastard did to her. But what if that isn’t what she craves? Or what she needs? What she needs… is tolet go.To trust someone enough to hand the reins over. To let me take her apart and put her back together—my way.
She needs to trust me to make her feel good.
I want to command her perfect little body, not for my pleasure, for hers. I want to push her to feel everything she has missed out on and realize how much she matters.
Chapter 20
Emily
My mind flips wildly between turned on and traumatized. My thoughts and feelings are completely jumbled and spinning out in disordered, messy loops. I can't explain how messed up I am. I don’t even understand it myself. But underneath all the chaos in my mind; I have one undeniable and overwhelming feeling—a need for Jackson.
