“Nope, no problem at all,” I say, grinning to myself. My heart must have expanded exponentially. It feels like it’s going to burst. And I know now that there really is something here. Something more than the crazy sexual tension I’ve felt whenever I’m alone with him. My wolf purrs contentedly as I pull on his t-shirt, relishing having his scent all over me as I follow him to the kitchen.
“Good. Now sit your sweet ass down and take a break. I have plans for you,” he says before winking at me. His words send a shiver of excitement through me. I know whatever his plans are; I cannot wait for them.
Chapter 21
Jackson
Spending time with Emily is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. When I’m with her, it finally feels like there’s something to live for beyond the pack. A smile plays on my lips as I approach warrior training. The contrast to my headspace two days ago—when I almost broke the warriors with circuit training—is striking.
We work through a round of ambush training, with me splitting up the groups to fight against each other. I walk around giving pointers and jumping in where necessary. But honestly, I’m counting down the minutes to Emily’s private lesson and getting to be with her again. Just thinking about her calms something restless in me. She looked so peaceful sleeping in my bed when I left this morning that I didn’t want to wake her, but I regretted that almost immediately once I left.
I don't want to miss out on a single moment with her. Because every second more that I have spent with her has had me falling deeper under her spell.
When Emily walks in, a few of the male warriors give her more attention than I like. My wolf growls low, just loud enough to have them scarpering. She doesn’t notice—too busy catching up with Fia, whose relief is written all over her face as they hug. It seems like weeks ago since Emily shut down at our last session, and the realization that I completely glossed over it comes crashing down around me.
I was so excited to finally have Emily in my bed that we spent all of my day off barely leaving it. We talked about our pasts, but we didn’t really get into what happened at training. I need to revisit that.
“Hi Jackson,” Emily calls as she walks over to me. There’s a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, like she’s unsure of how to act around me in public. I stride towards her, eating up the distance in a couple of steps. I slide my arm around her waist and thread my fingers into her hair to tilt her head up.
“Hey, babe,” I murmur before pressing my lips to hers. She allows me to take charge, and I slip my tongue into her mouth, enjoying her sweet taste and the way her body melts against me.
“Shit, what the hell did I miss?” Sofia squeals from somewhere behind us as she jumps up and down, clapping her hands. I guess she’s on board with Emily and me getting together. I break apart from Emily to let out a chuckle.
“I’ll fill you in later,” Emily tells her as she stares into my eyes. She has barely finished her sentence and I'm kissing her again. I love the taste of her mouth. Nearly as much as I love the taste of her perfect little pussy.
“Fuck, that’s hot,” I hear Sofia whispering to one of the warriors and they both laugh before leaving us to it.
“So, am I still getting training to fight or are you planning to use this time in another way?” Emily asks with a smirk. Fuck did she just sass me? I love seeing this side of her. Seeing her feeling more comfortable with me.
“What did my dirty girl have in mind?” I whisper, while dropping a hand down to grab her ass. She blushes and looks away, again getting unsure. Her cheeks turn a shade of rosy pink and her gaze shifts to the floor, avoiding any eye contact. There’s a hesitation in the way she turns away, like she’s waiting to be judged, even though I’ve made my feelings abundantly clear.
She’s got fire, that much is obvious—but she’s been repressed for too damn long. I’m going to tear down every fucked-up thing her ex did to her, and I’m going to rebuild her confidence one shattered piece at a time.
Goddess, I’d love to tear that fucker apart for how he messed with her head and twisted her up.
“How about we do some training,” I offer, softening my tone, “and I’ll think of something to reward you with if you’re a good girl for me?”
“I can be good,” she responds, nodding eagerly. Her green eyes sparkle as she returns my eye contact.
“Damn right you can,” I growl, pulling her closer to me by my firm grip on her ass and giving her one last kiss before I take things seriously again.
“Okay, today might be a tough one. We’re going to look at managing fear.”
Her throat bobs as she swallows, but then she plants her feet and rolls her shoulders back. I talk her through how to focus on breathing and we practice taking slow, deep breaths to steady the nerves. I work with her to visualize success in different scenarios andteach her how to develop a plan while imagining herself successfully defending against an attack and escaping the situation.
My goal is to increase her confidence and hope that will help alleviate her fear, but seeing the panic rising in her as we talk about putting this into practice is freaking me out, let alone her. She won’t be able to protect herself if she’s panicking. And as much as I never want to leave her side, I know that’s not possible.
“I’m sorry, I’m so useless with this stuff,” she murmurs, defeat lacing her tone. Her shoulders hunch and her gaze is on the ground again. “I hate wasting your time.”
“Hey.” I step closer, tipping her chin up. “You’re not wasting my time at all. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be with. But I think you need some more help with the mental side of things so that we can focus on the physical.”
“Sofia, um, she mentioned therapy,” she says hesitantly. “But I’m not sure. I don’t know how it would work with me having to hide that I’m a shifter and then there’s the cost side of it too. The pack has been so good to me, but I don’t want to overstretch the generosity I’ve received.”
“Would you be willing to try it?” I ask, surprised Sofia has suggested a human therapist. I was going to suggest talking to Doc, but maybe a therapist is what she needs. Someone female maybe. Doc has been with his mate, Stan, for close to fifty years and they still seem obnoxiously happy together. Would he understand what she has been through?
“I mean, yeah, I’d try anything to not be like this. To stop feeling like I’m going to drop dead because I’m so scared or to stop myself from overthinking everything.”
I pull her into a hug and kiss her forehead. I hate that she feels this way. I wish I could take it away for her. “Okay, let me look into a few things.”
