I had to drag Sofia out for a long run with me to try to burn off the nervous energy. We have just finished up as we walk back towards the pack house where I’m still staying. Sofia abruptly picks up the pace and lets out a squeal.
“Ryan's back!” she shouts. Seeing as she spent the past twenty minutes complaining about me wanting to run, her sudden burst of energy makes me giggle.
“Come on, I can’t wait for you two to get to know each other properly. I can’t believe that you haven’t spent any time together yet.” She grabs my hands and drags me over towards him, and I can’t help but notice my lack of anxiety. I only met Ryan once, when I first got here, and my limited interaction with him involved him using an alpha command on me, so I should be afraid. But my sessions with Maya have been a revelation, and I’ve learned so much about how to calm myself down and how to increase my tolerance for what leads to panic. I’m happy and settled as she pulls me towards the car that Ryan is standing beside. Trusting that neither Sofia nor Jackson would leave me in a situation where I’m not safe.
I love seeing how eager she is to have her brother home, her face lighting up with pure joy as she rushes to embrace him. Her eyes sparkle with excitement and a radiant smile spreads across her face, revealing how much she has missed him. Her happiness is infectious, even if I am a little uncomfortable with her speaking about me joining the pack.
“Ryan, finally! You’ve missed so much! I can’t wait to tell you how awesome Emily is and how much you absolutelyhaveto let her join the pack officially,” she prattles off without taking a break.
“Hey, good to see you too!” he smiles, wrapping his arms around Sofia. He lifts his chin and offers me a small smile. “Hi Emily. Let’s talk about things later, Fia. We have guests.”
Maybe it’s been a long journey. Maybe this is how he always appears, but Ryan looks bone tired. He steps back from the car as a second car parks behind his. Two men climb out. The first is tall and blond, the second a broader man with a shaved head and dark skin.
My heart stops. My breath catches.
No.
All the work with Maya goes out of my head and I’m plunged into complete terror as I stare at one of Aidan’s closest friends and allies.
“Alpha John Anderson, Beta Caleb Cooper, meet my sister Sofia. Sofia, could you organize a couple of rooms in the pack house for a few days?” Ryan says as Sofia greets them politely, unaware of the chaos exploding inside me.
“So lovely to meet you, Sofia, and who is your friend?” John asks, lips curling in a slow, knowing smirk as he glances back to where I stand a few feet away. The air around me turns cold. My ears are ringing. My heart is pounding so loudly, they must be able to hear it. Not that I can. I can't hear much over the blood rushing in my ears.
“Oh, this is my friend Emily,” Sofia responds, as I stand like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Prey, frozen with fear. John’s eyes are gleaming while his Beta’s eyes dart between us.
“I need to go,” I say in barely over a whisper as I take backward steps away from them. The moment I hit the steps to the pack house, I turn and flee towards my room in the pack house. As my heart races, the sights around me blur into a chaotic whirlwind. The sounds of my pounding heart and my frantic breaths drown out all other noise. The pungent scent of fear fills the air, overwhelming my senses. Every inch of my body tingles with a horrifying sensation, as if thousands of icy fingers are tracing my skin.
I stumble backward and collapse onto the bed as panic claws up my spine and my throat closes. My hands are shaking violently, and my thoughts are racing. What if he tells Aidan where I am? What if he comes here and takes me back? What if Jackson or Sofia get in the middle of things and someone gets hurt because of me?
I can't let that happen.
My head is spiraling so quickly to all the possibilities that are suddenly so likely now that John Anderson of all people knows where I am. There's no point wondering what will happen. I know exactly what he will do. He will tell Aidan where I am. Aidan will come for me and drag me back to Blood Moon. He will hurt me. Use me. And I will spend the rest of my life in pain and misery.
I need to run.
It’s the only option. I scramble to the closet and start throwing clothes into a bag, not bothering to fold or sort anything. There’s no time.
But then I stop. Maya’s voice rises above the chaos in my head:Your body is trying to protect you from danger, not betray you.I clutch the edge of the dresser and force myself to inhale as I try to refocus my mind. I try to tap into my senses, drawing my attention to what I can see; the hoodie I wore the first day I trained here, and smell; Jackson’s clean earthy scent clinging to my sheets, and finally what I can hear; friendly chatter in the hall outside my room.
My wolf paces. She’s alert, cautious, but not afraid. She still feels the safety of Lunar Eclipse. That calms me more than anything.
I slow my breathing and visualize myself in a safe space, like Maya taught me. Back in that perfect spot, where Jackson brought me for our first date, lying on the picnic blanket with him. I visualize the lake and the trees, the mountains behind the pack lands. I imaginethe birdsong and the light breeze that tickled my skin. With deep, steadying breaths, I slowly begin to calm down.
A knock at my door.
I jolt upright, startled—but I’m not frozen this time. I walk to the door, take one last steadying breath before opening it and coming face to face with John Anderson.
He’s already leering at me and licking his lips like I’m a piece of meat that his wolf wants to tear into. It’s like there are insects crawling all over me; everywhere his gaze lingers for far too long. Bile rises in my throat.
“Well, isn’t this a surprise,” he says, stepping forward into my doorway, his voice smooth but his eyes predatory. “I was so disappointed when I heard you had gone missing before your mating ceremony. Alpha Blackwood has beenbeside himself.”
I don’t respond other than to stare at him. I feel like I will be sick if I open my mouth. I grip the doorframe so tightly my knuckles ache. My other hand clenches in a fist. The sting of my nails biting into my skin, keeping me just grounded enough.
“And here you are, living it up in another pack. He will be so relieved when I call to tell him I’ve found you,” he says with a smug grin.
“P… please don’t tell him where I am.”
“Hmmm, I’m not sure if I can do that. Heisa good friend of mine. And I know he has such…interestingplans for you once he gets his teeth into you again.” Anderson chuckles at me before reaching out and tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I flinch away in disgust at his touch. A gesture that is so loving with Jackson repulses me in this moment.
