I know I should be traumatized right now. John Anderson just threatened to rape me. He used his Alpha command on me. But he didn’t get to hurt me because I amsafe. I have people who are truly on my side. I’m not alone anymore. I’m not helpless. And I’m not broken.
And that feels pretty amazing.
My lips tip up at the corners and I let myself focus on the relief rather than the darkness. Jackson stares at me, his brows furrowed as confusion mars his handsome face. I’m sure my smile makes no sense to him. But I can’t help it. I’m free.
I climb onto his lap, straddling him and push him back onto the bed. I take off my hoodie and pull my sports bra off over my head as I push my pelvis against him.
“What are you doing?” he rasps, his voice husky. His hands settle lightly on my hips, unsure. “Emily… We shouldn’t do this. What happened to you… I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re vulnerable.”
“Maya told me something before. That trauma isn’t the awful thing that happened to you, it’s how your body and brain respond to the danger. It’s how your brain keeps the memory alive to keep you safe. And this should be one of those things that my brain will remember forever. Itshouldbe traumatic. But it’s just… not. Because I’m not alone anymore. Help came for me.Youcame for me.”
Jackson’s expression crumples, some of the tension leaving his posture as he absorbs my words. His breath stutters, torn between desire and concern. He is telling me one thing, but the way he hardens under me shows me how much he wants this, too. How much he wants me. How he doesn’t see me as a damaged and broken thing.
“I can't be gentle right now, baby,” He groans. “I'm so angry, baby. I'm damn murderous. I know you need a distraction but I'm worried I'll take it too far.”
I press my lips to his—soft, slow, deliberate. “You won't. This isn’t about distraction. This is about me reclaiming my body. I’m showing you how okay I am,” I whisper as I pull at his top. His eyes search mine, like he’s looking for any hint of hesitation. But I’m certain. My pulse is steady. My choice is clear.
He sits up and reaches one arm behind his head to pull off his t-shirt. I climb off him and wiggle out of my shorts and underwear so that I’m standing in front of him completely bare. A brief moment of common sense reminds me to lock the door. I do, and when I turn back around, he’s watching me like he’s starving and I’m his favorite entrée.
“You make me feel safe, Jackson. I don’t want to be a victim anymore.” I don’t try to hide anything. I want him to see me—all of me. I run my fingers over my breasts, tweaking my nipples until they ache just the way I like.
“What do you want?” he rasps, his voice thick with need. His eyes dark with complete, unbridled desire. His mouth has drawn into a tight line and his fists are clenched. Like it is taking an almost unbearable effort to restrain himself. Seeing the effect on his body spurs my confidence.
“I want to be in control of everything that happens to my body. I don’t want anyone to take anything from me ever again. Not unless I give it freely.” I smirk at him as I return to where he sits on the bed. Standing in front of him, I trail my hand down the valley of mybreasts towards the apex of my thighs. I gently circle my clit before dipping two fingers inside my soaked pussy.
“And what are you planning to give to me so freely?” he groans as he slides his hand into the front of his sweatpants. Goddess, I love his sweatpants. The v shape of his abdomen dipping down towards the clear outline of his dick has my mouth watering.
“I want to give you everything, Jackson. I want you to be the only man who touches my body, tastes me,” I add, bringing my wet fingers to his mouth. He sucks them eagerly, letting out a noise that can only be described as a whimper. “The only man who will ever fuck me again. I want to swallow you down when you come in my throat. I want your cum leaking down my legs after you've screwed me so good. I want you to bend me over and take my ass.”
He throws his head back with a strangled sound. “I could come from your voice alone. You have no idea how unbelievably sexy you are.”
I smile as I straddle his legs and wrap my arms around his neck. “Do you have any idea how much I want you? How much I want to experience everything with you?”
“Fuck yes, I do,” he growls. He flips me onto my back before moving back and shucking his pants and boxers. His dick springs free, hard and thick, waiting for me to give it some attention. I’m still languidly circling my clit, but I’m not trying to come yet. I want him to give me all of my orgasms. I withdraw my hand from my pussy and roll to all fours.
His sharp intake of breath lets me know he likes the visual and further encourages me. I might be on my hands and knees right now, but I’ve never felt more powerful. I know exactly what I want, and I love that it’s here for the taking.
But Jack surprises me by dropping to his knees and lapping at my pussy from behind. I let out a yelp of excitement as he plunges his tongue inside of me repeatedly. And when he replaces his tongue with his fingers and moves his tongue to my clit, I explode, screaming his name.
He continues to press his fingers lazily in and out of my pussy as I come down from the high of my release. But then his fingers are gone, and he nudges at my entrance with his cock.
“My dirty little wolf, who knew you could be such a perfect little slut for me?” he asks, as he rocks his cock in and out of me. “You're going to let me fuck you here?” he asks as he circles the tight ring of muscle at my ass with his fingers that are still wet from being inside my pussy.
I can barely recognize the moan that escapes my lips as I realize what he means. The part of me that used to feel ashamed of my sexual desires is nowhere to be found. Replaced with something bold. Curious. Freeing.
“You want to fuck my ass, Jackson?”
He groans, hips stuttering. “Only if you want me to.”
Ugh, those words. He continues to thrust in and out of my pussy almost torturously slowly. But as his tempo increases, I feel a slight pressure against my ass. “Yes… please,” I moan as my next orgasm crashes into me without warning at even the suggestion of him being inside me like that. And I know I meant it when I said everything.
But my confidence wavers as the last waves of my orgasm ease. “I’ve never…”
“Relax, babe. I know you’re not ready for my cock there yet,” he whispers as he pushes harder, breaching my tight hole with his finger. The intrusion is strange at first, dirty and unfamiliar. And sohot. He pulls out before adding a second finger.
“Fuck, I can’t wait until my cock rams into your tight ass,” he groans as he pumps his dick into my pussy, fingers working in my ass, and my whole body pulses with pleasure.
“Yes, yes, yes!” I chant.
