My earlier crappy mood returns with a vengeance, and I jump up from the couch and stomp out of the room. Ryan calls after me, but I’m not in the mood to hear more about how ‘it’s not personal’ but he doesn’t trust me to look after myself.
“I’m going out,” I call out, heading for the door. The cool air and woodsy scent of the nearby trees hit me as soon as I step outside and bring up my anger with Luca all over again. Goddess, I’m on an emotional rollercoaster today.
I need to talk to someone female. I mindlink Emily, asking if she’s free. Jackson is on patrol tonight, and I need to spend time with someone who values me.
“I really think I should cancel the party,” I think aloud for what must be the twentieth time. I grab another handful of popcorn and munch on it while Emily presses pause on the movie. It feels weird and unnatural to be throwing a party for my birthday when we’re not much closer to finding the missing omegas. Even if it is the most important birthday a wolf can have. When we finally reach full maturity and can detect our fated mate.
“It’s your twenty-first birthday, Fia. You can’t cancel it!” Emily objects. “What if you meet your mate? What if it’s part of your fate that you need to meet them as soon as possible?”
My wolf snarls at me at the thought of doing anything to delay meeting them. I get where she’s coming from. I have been dying to meet my mate, too. The one person who is meant to have been made for me. Who would never leave or turn on me. But it doesn’t seem fair right now. Why should I get to be happy when others are suffering so much?
“I might still meet them; they could be from Lunar Eclipse,” I offer. Emily chews on her lip, a contemplative look on her face.
“Do you want it to be anyone from here?” she asks, and if that isn’t the million-dollar question. A big part of me wants to stay here, and having a mate here would make that a lot easier. Lunar Eclipse is home. But now that it’s so close to the day I can finally recognize my mate, all I feel is a tightness in my chest and a headache.
“I don’t have a clue what I want,” I sigh, picking up the remote and turning the movie back on. Emily rests her head on my shoulder, and we snuggle up to watch the rest of the super cheesy rom-com. I’m more of a horror fan, but Emily can’t watch anything like that, and I’m here for the company of my bestie, not to trigger anything for her. She’s had more than enough horror in her life.
Chapter Seven
Sofia
One week later
I’m sitting in front of a mirror in Emily’s bedroom. My hands are trembling too much for the winged eyeliner I had been planning for tonight. I shake them out, but it’s no use. Nothing is helping with this jittery sensation I’ve had all day. I toss the eyeliner aside. Smokey it is, I sigh to myself.
“It’s going to be okay,” Emily says in a soothing tone. She’s standing behind me, taming my wild curls with her straightener. Something I’ve never managed to make work when I do it myself. Her piercing green eyes stare into mine through our reflections in the mirror, reassuring and sure in her convictions.
I wish I could believe her. I’ve wanted to meet my mate for years, yet the closer it gets, the more anxious I am about their identity. I have no idea who I want it to be. Or if I’m ready to meet them. If I’m ready to commit toforever.
“I told Ryan that I’m bi. He knows my mate could be female.”
“How did he respond?” Emily asks, and I have to laugh at how much I blew the whole coming-out thing out of proportion. I remember why I didn’t tell him when I was younger. He wouldhave freaked out at the idea of me dating anyone. But he stopped seeing me as a child years ago for the most part, and I should have given him more credit.
“He was cool. If anything, he was excited,” I explain, rolling my eyes at myself more than him. “He figures that it’s likely my mate will also be a ranked wolf, and at least if they are female, then we can push for me to stay here. But what if it’s one of the visiting ranked males? I’ll be expected to leave.”
“Maybe you’ll get an alpha wolf who isn’t the alpha of a pack? Like you?” Emily asks. That could work. We’d have to talk and decide which pack we stayed in, but there would be room to explore it.
Alphas that aren’t in charge of a pack typically leave and form their own or settle for being a beta or delta. It doesn’t happen that often, so there are no hard and fast rules. Females only go into heat twice a year, and there are no guarantees of pregnancy from each heat, and even when there are pregnancies between an alpha and their mate, it seems more likely for wolves to inherit their wolf from the maternal side. Ending up with omega, warrior or unranked pups, dependent on the luna’s wolf. Sometimes, an alpha and luna will have lots of pups to ensure an alpha wolf for succession.
Caleb has four alpha brothers, but I’ve never heard of that before. And I’ve never met another alpha female other than my mom. Goddess, I wish I had known sooner that she was going to leave us. I wish I’d had the chance to ask her all the questions that came up later.
And as much as I hate her for walking out on us and never looking back, still sometimes I can’t help wanting my mom.
“Yeah, maybe,” I reply, somehow knowing it won’t be that easy.
An unfamiliar panic claws at my throat. I’m not usually the nervous-wreck sort of girl. This is meant to be a good day. A great day. The day I potentially meet the love of my life. And no one can take that away from me. But what if they are awful?
It was so easy to trust mate bonds before. But seeing who Emily was originally fated to has ripped that idea wide open.
The fear grips my stomach, twisting into knots. My breath hitches in my chest, and my skin prickles with a cold sweat. I grip the edges of my seat to steady my trembling hands as a wave of nausea washes over me, making me want to flee. My heart pounds in my ears, a frantic drumbeat against the silence of my anticipation.
I wish I had some kind of clue who it would be. So many fated mates are already dating before they find out for sure. The bond might not kick in until the younger wolf turns twenty-one, but that doesn’t stop wolves from being drawn to their mates. It’s just less clear. Emily told me that when her bond to Jackson was formed, it was like everything they already felt intensified.
She practically melted into a puddle and got all teary-eyed even talking about what it was like. It was obnoxious. And I want to experience it, but the sinking sensation in my stomach all day tells me it won’t be the same for me. Unfortunately for me on this occasion, my intuition is rarely wrong.
“You don’t have to do anything yet. Screw traditions and take your time to get to know whoever it is,” Emily says firmly.
I grin at her, my sweet little omega bestie telling me to basically not give a fuck. You would think finding out her abuser was her fated mate would be a surefire way to make anyone question the mate bond. But she got her second chance, and Jackson is perfect for her. They’re irritatingly happy together.
