“Last I checked, it’s not fucking up to you what I do,” she grits out, glaring at me. I should bend her over the hood of this car and spank her ass for trying to put herself in danger. I should have tied her to my damn bed and fucked her unconscious.
“You sure about that?” I ask, raising an eyebrow and smirking at her. Trying to take a different approach, even as my wolf threatens to tear through my chest to defend our mate from the danger of the mission.
“No, you don’t get to do that here,” she snaps. “This isn’t some low-stakes bullshit that doesn’t matter. You can't get me orgasm drunk and agreeable about this.”
“Goddess, someone please stab me in the ears,” Ryan groans before trying to reason with Sofia. “We agreed that no females would go anywhere near this place, Fia.”
“No,wedidn’t agree on shit,” she retorts. He’s not getting anywhere, and her immunity to alpha command is really fucking annoying right now. Fates, she is so damn stubborn.
“Enough,” I say, gripping Sofia’s arms and staring into her eyes. “You are not coming.”
“You can’t stop me. You idiots need me there! I’m the only one with enough of a brain to come up with a plan if something goes wrong!”
“Sofia, you are the smartest one of us,” I plead, trying to force her to see it’s not about me not valuing her. It’s about not being able to think straight if she’s in danger. “I have no doubts about that, but you’re acting pretty damn stupid right now. You’re not coming. No one is letting you put yourself in danger. It’s not happening.”
“Try to stop me, Beta,” she snaps, crossing her arms and glowering at me.
“Come with me; we need one last strategy meeting,” I say, steering her away from the warriors and into Ryan’s office and the pack house. There’s no way she’s coming with us, but I can at least do this away from the warriors. I don’t want to make her look bad.
Ryan and Jackson follow behind us, like we are actually strategizing. Sofia huffs a breath out but doesn’t fight me until we get into the office. She pulls her arm from my grasp and stomps into the room. Her eyes dart around as if she needs to work out her exit strategy.
She’s not wrong, and I hate myself for it.
Because I know I’m about to do something unforgivable. My wolf is already clawing at my chest, snarling, trying to stop me as the idea tumbles around my head. He wants to protect her from me. I’m sure she’ll hate me for this, but damn it, she’ll be safe.
My fingers close around the tranquilizer gun. It feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. I tell myself this is protection, not betrayal, but the lie tastes like ash in my mouth.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, even as I fire.
“What the fuck?” Jackson yells at me.
The dart sinks into her thigh. Her eyes widen, disbelief flashing hotter than rage. For a heartbeat, she looks less like a warrior and more like the female who had finally started to trust me again. Then her knees buckle. She rips the dart free with a curse, but it’s too late.
“Motherfucker…” she grits out before slumping back against the desk, consciousness leaving her.
My wolf howls like I’ve murdered her. My stomach twists so hard I nearly gag as I catch her. Her body is limp, warm, heartbreakingly heavy in my arms. I can’t believe I did this to her.
“Why the hell do you even have that?” Jackson asks, rushing to check on Sofia.
I shrug my shoulders noncommittally, because we’ve agreed not to tell anyone else about Ryan. Including Jackson. I lift Sofia in my arms and carry her to the couch.
“I hope you weren’t too attached to your balls,” Ryan says. “She is going to eviscerate you when she wakes up.”
“Yeah, well, better me than her,” I reply before turning to Jackson. “Can you get Emily to come and wait with her?”
I hate leaving her unprotected in this state, but this is the safest place for her. No one in the pack is going to go near her, and she’ll be awake in twenty minutes.
She’ll be fine.
She will want to claw my face off. But she’ll be safe.
“Come on, we better get going,” I mutter, climbing into the jeep. Dread settles firmly in my stomach. But I can’t let the ideathat I might have just caused my own rejection settle in. She’ll forgive me. hopefully.
Even if she doesn’t. She’ll be safe.
That’s all that matters.
Fates, I hate myself.
