He came tocheckon me.
Which meant on some level, he cared whether I lived or died by poultry. That was practically intimacy, in my book.
“Well,” I said, suddenly all thumbs and zero brain cells, “I’m alive. Just mildly traumatized and a little dusty. Which, for the record, is a very natural, wholesome aesthetic. Like… dirty cottagecore.”
His lips twitched again. “Is that a genre now?”
I was already spiraling. “Probably. It’s like cottagecore, but more… feral. Less artisanal honey, more wrestling compost bins.”
Ben huffed something that might’ve been a laugh.
I was seconds away from trying to explain the personality of each goat when I caught a whiff of myself and froze.
“Oh no,” I whispered.
“What?”
I sniffed the air, then grimaced. “Ismell.”
Ben didn’t say anything.
Which somehow made itworse.
“Like, not metaphorically,” I rushed to explain, waving my hands around like I could dispel the scent with jazz fingers. “I mean, maybe metaphorically too, because I’m slowly rotting from shame, but mostly I smell like a barnyard.”
Still nothing from him.
I stared.
He blinked.
Was he tryingnotto laugh? Or had he already disassociated from the conversation?
“Look,” I said, lifting my hands in surrender, “I didn’t think my first full conversation with you outside the lodge would involve barn animal aftermath, but here we are. You got the real behind-the-scenes tour. The real me. Covered in hay and hoping the soap from earlier wasn’t symbolic.”
There was a long pause.
And then Ben said, very simply, “You don’t smell that bad.”
My brain short-circuited.
“Wow,” I said flatly. “Be still, my heart. That’s the sexiest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“Wasn’t trying to be sexy.”
“Don’t worry. Nailed it anyway.”
We stared at each other.
The breeze shifted.
The goats bleated from the distance like background singers who knew drama when they heard it.
“Well,” I said, stepping back a pace, trying not to trip over my dignity. “This has been humbling.”
Ben nodded once. “Guess I’ll let you get back to… whatever this is.”
“Farm diplomacy,” I offered.
