Not after what we shared so many times.
I’d never felt anything like that. Not even close. The way she touched me, kissed me, teased me,saw me. It was like she cracked something open that I didn’t even know was sealed shut.
And now I was trying to shove it back inside and pretend it hadn’t happened.
Idiot.
I slammed the laptop shut and stood too fast, pacing the room like that would solve something. The sunlight filtered through the curtains in soft golden streaks, the kind of glow that should’ve made me feel calm.
It didn’t.
All I felt wasstuck.
I didn’t want to lose the life I’d worked for. The career I’d clawed my way up for. But lately it felt more like a prison I’d voluntarily locked myself inside.
And Fifi?
She was freedom, messy, unpredictable, sugar-and-firefreedom.
But how do you reach for something that could upend your entire identity?
Maybe… you just do it.
I stopped pacing and stared at the door.
I could find her.
Apologize.
Fix it.
The irony wasn’t lost on me. I was always trying to fix things, but this wasn’t just a mess I made.
It was a choice I still had time to undo.
I grabbed my hoodie, shoved the laptop onto the desk, and paused just long enough to shoot off one final text to the office:
Set everything on hold. I’ll respond Friday. Until then, it can wait.
Then I turned off my phone.
For real this time.
If the world burned down, someone else could call the fire department.
Right now?
I needed to find Fifi, and hope to God she hadn’t already decided I wasn’t worth the risk.
The phone was off. The laptop closed. My hands felt weirdly empty without either, but in the best possible way, like I’d finally set down a weight I’d been pretending wasn’t breaking my back.
I left my room before I could talk myself out of it.
The hallway was quiet, soft with early afternoon light filtering through the lodge’s tall windows. I walked past the welcome desk, down the stairs, past the reading nook where someone had left a half-drunk cup of tea and a novel with a floralbookmark hanging out of the side. Everything about this place was a gentle exhale.
Except my chest hadn’t quite loosened yet.
Not until I found her.
