“You’re holding it againstyourself,Ben.”
I looked away from the window, jaw tight. “They needed someone.”
“They needed help. They neededto change themselves. But you, you turned yourself into a crutch because you thought that was your role. That doesn’t mean it was the right one. There is no right one in a situation like that. We were just kids. We did our best. They did not.”
“They were our parents.”
“They weredrunkso often I’m not sure they remembered that most of the time,” he said. “And broken long before either of us knew what to do with it. You sacrificed years for them. I know that. I admire that. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve joy now. That doesn’t mean you owe the world your misery.”
My throat burned because I wasn’t sure if my brother saw the same pattern in himself.
“You’ve got to stop using geography and guilt as excuses,” he continued. “You’ve built a whole personality around obligation. And now, something good shows up in a hotel with a coffee mug and a sharp tongue, and you run for the hills because you think happiness is somethingother peopleget.”
I stared at the floor.
“You still there?” Dustin asked.
“Yeah.”
“Then hear this.You’re allowed to want something more.You’re allowed to smile. You’re allowed to let someone inwithout needing a PowerPoint presentation on how it’ll all fall apart later.”
I rubbed my temples and wondered how my brother got this sudden clarity. “Why do you sound like you’ve done hours of therapy?”
“Because I have,” he answered with a laugh. “I’ve been sober ninety-six days, but not before I spent three weeks in nonstop therapy, bawling my eyes out, and asking myself for forgiveness. It’s a disease, you know. It’s not my fault. It’s not theirs.”
His words shocked me into reality, and I slipped my fingers along my eyes to wipe away the unexpected tears. “Man, I’m so proud of you.”
“I figured it wouldn’t be fair if I started to need your services once I hit my forties, so…”
We both laughed nervously because that was precisely my father’s dream.
“So this girl, she’s got you all rattled and is quite the disruption to your stay.”
“She’s not just a distraction.” I cleared my throat.
“I didn’t say she was.”
“She makes me feel like maybe I could be…more.”
“Then don’t screw it up.”
I exhaled. “It’s not that simple.”
“It never is. But it also doesn’t have to be as complicated as you’re making it.”
Silence stretched between us for a moment, but it wasn’t heavy anymore.
It was understanding.
“You think she’d give me another shot?” I asked quietly.
Dustin snorted. “She sounds like the kind of woman who’s already five steps ahead of you. I’d bet she’s still thinking about you.”
I smiled a small one, but it was real.
“Thanks,” I said.
“For what?”
