Noah broke the silence, his jaw clenched."I can handle a lot of things," he said quietly."But what really gets to me is how we're treated by some people when we get back."His blue eyes flashed with anger."Like we're some dirty secret no one wants to talk about."
Javi nodded in agreement."It's like they want to pretend we don't exist until they need us again."
"It's not about getting thanks," Luke added, his voice steady but firm."It's about being treated like a normal person."
"Yeah," Cavil said, rubbing the back of his neck."Sometimes it feels like they don't appreciate what we've done at all."
I looked around at these men who had given so much for their countries and found themselves struggling to find their place back home.
"It's frustrating," I admitted."You go through hell and come back only to feel like an outsider."
"I heard what happened to you," Javi said, his eyes steady on mine."After China.Were you told to stand down?"
I shook my head once, a bitter smile tugging at my lips."I wasn't told to go in, either."
They nodded like they understood.It was a familiar story to them—following orders that sometimes never came.
"They still haven't thanked you for what you did, have they?"Cavil asked, his voice low and knowing.He understood the British government.
I clenched my jaw and shook my head."The first acknowledgment I ever received from a high-ranking official was from the POTUS."
"So, what, the British government denies it?"Javi asked, his eyebrows furrowing in disbelief.
"They don't like it," I said flatly."They're angry it happened.Too much could have gone wrong and painted the government in a bad light."
"But you saved… how many people?"Luke asked, leaning forward.
I shrugged, trying to downplay it.
"Seven hundred," Cavil said."Final number I heard was about seven hundred people."
"By yourself?"Noah's voice carried a mix of awe and incredulity.
"I went in alone, but I had help," I clarified.
"That's bullshit," Luke muttered under his breath, shaking his head in frustration.
"It is what it is," I said quietly."In situations like that, you do what you have to do.Orders or no orders."
The room fell silent again.
I leaned back in my chair, the memories of that night in China flooding back.It had been years since I talked about it, partly because I wasn’t allowed to, but mostly because I didn't want to relive the nightmare any more than I had to.But now, in the company of these men who understood, it felt almost cathartic.
"Do you ever regret it?"Noah's voice broke through my thoughts.
I looked up, meeting his piercing blue eyes."Regret what?"
"Going in without orders.Putting yourself on the line."
I hesitated before answering."No," I admitted."I did the right thing.I know that.And when I think about those people, their faces..."
Cavil and I shared a look.We didn't need words to communicate what we both knew—some things were worth the risk, no matter the cost.
"I had a feeling you'd say that," Javi said with a small smile.
We sat in silence for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts.
"Talking about it helps," Luke said finally, breaking the silence."More than I thought it would."
