"Thanks," I murmured again, unable to take my eyes off her.There was something disarming about her presence, something that made it hard to keep my usual defenses up.
She nodded, still smiling."You're welcome."
I stood up slowly, flexing my hand one last time before shoving it into my pocket."I should get going," I said gruffly.
"Of course," she replied, stepping aside to let me pass.
As I made my way to the door, I couldn't shake the feeling of her eyes on my back.It was a sensation that both unsettled and comforted me in equal measure.
Just before stepping out into the lobby, I turned back to glance at her one last time.She was still standing by her desk, watching me with that same soft smile.For a brief moment, our eyes met again.
“Hey,” she said, her voice breaking through my thoughts.“Are you doing anything this evening?”
I blinked, not sure I heard her right.“I’m sorry?”
“Are you busy?”
“I…” My voice trailed off, uncertainty gripping me.
She shuffled some papers on her desk, not meeting my eyes.“I don’t want to make this weird or anything,” she continued, her words rushed.“Maybe the fact that I’m already calling it weird is making it weird, but…” She took a deep breath, as if steadying herself.“There’s a tree lighting ceremony tonight.It’s a big thing.The whole town goes.There’s a hot chocolate stand, and… It’s really beautiful.Did you want to go?”
I looked at her, trying to read the expression on her face.
Should I say no?Yes, I should say no.
This wasn’t my kind of thing.Christmas wasn’t my thing.
But there was something in her eyes, something hopeful and inviting.
“I don’t know…” I started, feeling the weight of the decision pressing on me.
“You don’t have to,” she quickly added, waving a hand as if to dismiss the idea entirely.“I just thought… you might like it.”
Her face softened, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of vulnerability there.The same vulnerability that had shown when she’d patched up my hand.
Against my better judgment, I felt an unexpected pull to say yes.To be part of something normal for once.
“I’ll think about it,” I found myself saying.
She smiled then, a genuine smile that seemed to light up the room more than any Christmas tree could.
“Great,” she said softly.“I'm going to take my grandmother.We'll probably leave here at six.If you want to come, you can meet us in the lobby.”
I nodded and turned to leave the office, but the warmth of her smile lingered with me as I stepped out into the lobby.
I walked through the lobby, the festive decorations making it feel like a completely different world.Garlands wrapped around the banisters, their green and gold twinkling in the light.Mistletoe hung from every possible doorway, a cruel reminder of warmth and connection I didn’t deserve.Tiny figurines of Santa and reindeer dotted every flat surface, their cheerful faces staring up at me as if mocking my solitude.
The smell of pine and cinnamon filled the air, mingling with the faint scent of hot chocolate from the kitchen down the hall.
I made my way up the stairs to the third-story loft, each step creaking beneath my weight.The bannisters were adorned with more garlands and twinkling lights, casting a warm glow on the walls.It felt like walking through a scene from a holiday movie—one I didn’t belong in.
Reaching my room, I fumbled with the key before finally pushing open the door.The silence inside greeted me like an old friend.I closed the door behind me, leaning against it for a moment to catch my breath.The noise of the world outside was muted now, replaced by a quiet that was both comforting and suffocating.
I looked around my small room—bare walls, a simple bed, a desk cluttered with papers I’d been avoiding.It was stark and empty compared to the festive chaos outside.But it was mine.
I sank onto the edge of the bed, running a hand over my face.Now that I was away from her warmth and kindness, now that I could breathe again without her eyes on me, it all seemed like a bad idea.Letting myself get close to anyone was dangerous—especially someone as good and warm as Claire.
People like her didn’t belong in my world of shadows and bitterness.And I didn’t deserve to intrude into hers.
