“Kera!” Aran’s voice broke, but I barely heard it.
I looked down, my feet weren’t touching the ground anymore. I wasn’t standing, I washovering.
My chest tightened and I tensed, every muscle locking up at once.
And then the power slipped.
I dropped, my knees hit the ground hard and I broke.
“I— I see him,” I sobbed. “His face, his lifeless eyes, him reaching for Isak— it won’t go away— it just won’t—”
Aran approached slowly, and pointed toward the tree.
“Kera… look.”
I blinked through the tears and turned my head. The tree behind me was blackened, scorched from root to branch, smoke curling toward the sky.
“I… I did that?”
“Yeah. You did.” he said, eyes still wide.
I don’t know how he wasn’t running. I hadn’t burned him, I’d burned a tree, but he didn’t even look afraid.
He looked proud.
I shook my head. “I didn’t mean to.”
“But you did,” he said. “You found your focus. It’s there, Kera. You just needed the right motivation.”
I let out a bitter breath.
“The right motivation? What—anger?”
He shrugged.
“Anger. Fear. Pain. Whatever you’re feeling. It’s like that woman said, it’s all in you. You just need to stop running from it.”
“But why couldn’t I protect myself before?” My voice broke. “If anger is all I need… then I should’ve burned the world down that night. Iwasangry. I was furious.”
He looked at me with something that almost felt like compassion.
“I don’t know what you felt,” he said. “But if it had been me... I don’t think I would’ve been angry.”
I frowned. “You wouldn’t?”
“No. I think I would’ve been confused. Scared. If everything around me was burning—if people I loved were dying—I wouldn’t be thinking about fighting back. I’d just be trying to survive.”
I bent down and gently lifted the bluebell from the ground. The only thing I’d been meaning to burn… and it didn’t even have a singe.
“I could’ve run,” I whispered. My fingers curled tighter around the flower. “But I couldn’t leave my family.”
He didn’t look at me.
“I ran, Kera. And I still hate myself for it.” His voice cracked. “No one wins in a situation like that. Stay, and you die. Run, and you never forgive yourself. Either way… you’re just fucked.”
“I should’ve killed them.” The words tore out of me. “I could’ve saved—”
“You couldn’t have saved them, Kera.” His voice cut through mine. “Maybe you could’ve hurt a few of them, but they would’ve killed you.”
