“Then let me die doing something that matters!” I shouted right back. The words ripped out of me, raw and loud, my voice cracking as my chest heaved. “She’d do the same for me, I know she would,” I said, quieter. “Can we just not fight about this?” I asked. “Please? I need you on my side.”
Will’s face crumpled for a heartbeat before he shoved it all back down.
“I will always be on your side, but Kera…” His voice was hoarse. “Licia didn’t even recognize us. She… She looked like the girls in the theater. That same blank, empty stare. Like she wasn’t even in there anymore.” He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. “I don’t know what being in such a place does to a person,” he said. “But I don’t want it happening toyou.”
“Well,” I said. “I understand that.” I had to force myself to meet his eyes, even though it hurt. “And I’m sorry that I have to do this.”
“Ican’tstand by and watch this happen,” he said, voice low and rough.
“Will, please—”
“No.” His voice lashed out, sharp and final. “I’m going to bed.”
He didn’t slam the door on his way out. Didn’t even say goodbye, he just walked away. And somehow, that was worse.
The tears that had been burning behind my eyes finally spilled over. I squeezed my fists tight against my sides, but it didn’t help.
“What are you waiting for?”
I blinked, and turned.
Kalani sat on the sofa, staring.
“I…” My throat closed up. I didn’t even know what I was trying to say.
“Go get your man,” she said.
A soft huff of laughter escaped me, and I wiped at my cheeks, tasting the salt on my lips. My heart hammered against my ribs and part of me wanted to sink down onto the floor and never get up again. But another part, the part of me that refused to let go, made my feet move.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, barely getting the words out.
The hallway was dim, narrow, and too still, lit only by the flicker of a single oil sconce casting long shadows across the worn wooden floorboards. I saw his back, the white shirt and the leather vest.
“Will—please.” My voice cracked. “Don’t.”
He stopped as his hand rested on the handle of the door to his room.
“This could be the last time I see you,” I said. “Don’t do this.”
Slowly, he turned. His face was in shadow, but I saw the mess of emotion in his eyes anyway. Grief, guilt, fear.
“How am I supposed to be okay with that, Kera? How am I supposed to be okay with possibly never seeing you again? You keep talking about Licia. But what about me? I can’t lose you again.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t. But you can’t ask me to leave her in there!”
“I’m not. We’ll come up with a better plan!” he tried.
“There’s no other plan! And there’s no time.” I argued. ”We’ve already left her in there for almost a week.”
“And what if they break you?”
“They won’t. I’m not a little girl anymore,” I continued.
He looked at me, and I saw something in him shatter. It was like he could see them. All the invisible scars, all the wounds that never closed inside me.
“Do you know what they did to that little girl?” I added. ”They butchered her, Will. Left her for dead, bleeding out on the floor as they set her house on fire.” I paused. Took a breath. Swallowed the pain and the rage like I had so many times before. “But they didn’tbreakme. And this? This won’t either.” I swallowed hard. My hands were shaking. “I’m not yours to save, Will,” I said. “I never was.”
“Then what do you need me for? I feel so fucking helpless.”
