I hated that I did.
The guilt of it hurt, but beneath it was fear.
Fear of what I might do next.
It’s not about what you’ve done, it’s about what you will do.
The fire inside me wasn’t gone. It wasn’t even sleeping.
It was waiting. Waiting for the next moment I’d lose control, for the next time I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.
“Have you calmed down now?” Will’s voice cut through, sharp but not cruel. He crouched in front of me, his face streaked with soot, eyes tired. “Don’t burn the boat,” he said. “Please. Then we’re fucked.”
I blinked, trying to focus.
The boat. Our escape. The only way out.
He hesitated, unsure if he could touch me, I saw it in his hands, in his eyes, the softness there, careful but real.
“I’m here. Licia’s here. Aran’s here,” he said. “Everyone’s okay.”
“Not those girls,” I said. The words came out cracked and raw.
Will’s expression changed, there was sympathy there, but his voice stayed firm.
“The guards killed them, Kera.Theylocked that door. It wasn’t your fault.”
But it was.
I started the fire.
“Kera,” he said, softer. “We can’t change what happened. But you have to stay calm, or you’re gonna burn this boat too. And thenwe all die.Can you do that for me?”
My eyes stung. I looked at him, and it hurt. Because he was still there. Still trying. And I didn’t deserve it.
“Leave me,” I rasped. “Just… go. Take the boat. I’ll stay. I’m the one they’ll be hunting.”
Will’s eyes flashed as something broke in him.
“Are you out of your mind?” He grabbed my hands, both of them, and held on tight. “After everything we’ve been through… you think we’d leave you? You really think that little of us?”
His grip anchored me. Real. Steady.
“I’m not leaving,” he said. “If you stay, I stay.”
Licia’s voice joined his. “Me too.”
Aran walked up to me as well. “Yeah.Me too.Did you hit your head or something? You think we’d just fuck off without you?”
I looked at them, bruised, burned, bleeding, and they were still there. Still with me.
“…Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll stay calm.”
I didn’t know that I could keep that promise. Just me being there was putting them in harm’s way. And I could be the one to hurt them.
I wasn’t going to risk it.
I turned to Aran.
