I set the boat down in the water. It floated slowly, the candle flickering. I watched it until it looked ready to tip. But it didn’t. Then I grabbed the other boats.
“Mother. Father.”
My voice broke.
“I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t even save myself.”
I paused, let the pain tear through me.
“Maybe... maybe if I’d just married that monster, maybe you’d still be alive. I can’t change that now. I’m so sorry.”
I placed the last boats in the water.
“Until we meet again.”
The words tasted like ash.
I watched the last boat drift out into the water, its little flame wobbling in the wind. The others had already floated too far to see, swallowed by darkness. One by one, they had flickered out, distant points vanishing into night. I didn’t look away.
“They heard that,” he murmured.
The wind stirred again, brushing against my face, lifting strands of my hair. I wrapped my arms around myself.
He nodded toward the last boat. “Who’s that one for?”
I picked it up carefully, keeping the candle upright as I cradled it in both hands. Then I held it out to him, offering a faint smile that barely held.
His brow furrowed. Confused at first. Then something shifted in his eyes as it clicked. He took the boat.
“I miss you, Mum,” he whispered. “It was my fault. It was all my fault and I—”
I reached out, my fingers finding his wrist, wrapping around it gently. His skin was warm. His pulse steady. When I looked up, our eyes met. I shook my head once, slow.
He didn’t argue. Didn’t speak. He just breathed.
He saw it, what I meant.Not your fault.
I held on, not to pull him back from something, but to anchor him here. To me. To not let grief or guilt take him.
“I won’t rest until all of them are dead,” he said. “Every last one. I give you my word.”
He crouched at the water’s edge and set the boat down, fingers lingering a moment before he pushed it forward. I said nothing. There was nothing left. And then, without even meaning to, I leaned intohim, my shoulder brushing his. Then the weight of my head found the space just above his heart.
I let my eyes fall shut.
I wasn’t okay. I was coming apart at the seams. But for a second, I could breathe again. I stayed like that. Right there in the warmth of him. My face pressed to the fabric of his shirt. His heartbeat slow and steady against my cheek.
And for the first time since Novil burned, I didn’t feel alone.
I wasn’t alone.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Iria’s remedy worked. I bled two days later, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved to feel that kind of pain.
It will be the end of it. Not the pain, but the rest.
Will was by my side through the worst of it, he stayed with me as my stomach cramped long into the nights. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve him, but as soon as it passed, we started packing.
