He nodded absently, and I felt a sharp pain around my heart. I had to remind myself of what it was like when I first escaped the witch. The confusion, the survivor’s guilt, and mostly, this singular knowledge I didn’t know how to begin putting my life back together. He was going through those same things now, and my vague platitudes weren’t helpful.
“Actually, forget I said that. It’s hard. Every day. We can’t undo the past, and it changed us in ways we can’t possibly imagine and probably have yet to discover. I won’t pretend I know what it was like for you all those years, but I want you to know you’re not alone, and I hope you’ll tell me about it. When you’re ready.” I moved to his side and mimicked his pose, resting my head against his shoulder.
“I’m glad you got away,” he murmured. “You know that, right? A lot of what I remember is hazy, but I knew deep down that you escaped. I held on to that feeling. It got me through.”
I blinked back the wetness that spiked my lashes. “I blamed myself for a long time. It wasn’t fair that I escaped and you didn’t, and I felt responsible. I thought you might hate me.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“No, it wasn’t. But that didn’t make it any easier.”
He angled his head so it was resting against mine. A comfortable silence filled the space before he said, “Look at this place. My little sister forges magical weapons.” Amusement laced his tone. “I always thought you’d end up as a seamstress like our mother.”
“Ha! You know I constantly poked myself with the needle instead of the fabric.”
“Your very first dagger.”
I elbowed him lightly in the ribs. “Very funny. What about you?”
“I don’t think I’d be a very good seamstress either.”
“Hendrik…”
“I don’t have an answer yet. Thomas offered to take me with him on his next business trip. I’m thinking about taking him up on the offer. Maybe see the world a bit.”
My heart sank. “You’re leaving? But we just found each other again.”
“It won’t be forever. I need some time to figure things out. Live a little. Go exploring. I’ve lost six years of my life, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. Besides…” His gaze drifted toward the entrance. He lifted a hand toward Bowen who hesitated when he spotted us. “You have your own future ahead of you.” Hendrik ruffled a hand playfully through my hair and pushed away from the table. “We’ll talk more in the morning.”
“Wait! Before you go, I have a request.”
Hendrik let out a heavy sigh, but there was a twinkle in his eye. “Let me guess. The song father used to sing to us before bedtime when we were kids.”
“It’s my favorite.”
“Mine too.”
He whistled the first bars of the familiar tune, and I smiled. “Goodnight, Hendrik.”
“Goodnight, sis.”
Nodding at Bowen on his way out, he disappeared into the night.
“Is everything all right?” Bowen asked, still hovering in the doorway.
I rubbed my arms to ward off the night chill. “Hendrik and I were just discussing the future.”
“Ah, the future. An important topic.” Bowen approached the workbench, but his gaze roamed the room. Stopping beside me, he ran his fingers over the soot-free worktable and rubbed them together. “So this is your workshop? I can see why you redid mine.”
I moved around the space, lighting a few more of the hanging lanterns, then I turned to find him studying one of my creations. He hefted the blade, swinging it in an arc, then placed it back on the worktable.
“It’s not exactly a blue flame crossbow, is it? Enchanted steel is so boring.” I inhaled a breath, watching the way the light played over his features. I was suddenly nervous. We hadn’t discussed what came after this trip, and I was starting to think we weren’t going to.
He hadn’t asked me to stay even though it was what I wanted him to do. Maybe he needed a little more time to get used to things. Before he escorted me home, he’d had a few inquiries from past clients interested in hiring him again, and he’d even been approached by the Ever Gazette to feature some of his artwork. With his revenge in the past and my problems out of his hands, he was starting to discover he had numerous options in front of him. The last thing I wanted was to stand in the way, and it wasn’t even just me anymore. I was a package deal now with Annie and Ethan, and he knew that. Asking me to stay was welcoming them both into his home as well.
But if he wasn’t going to bring up the topic, I would. I had a card up my sleeve—I just needed to gather the courage to use it.
I pointed to the rolled scroll sticking out of his inside jacket pocket. “Is that another commission?” My voice sounded hoarse to my ears, and my cheeks heated, but I kept going. “You know, before we left to face the witch, you asked me what I wanted in exchange for another commission. I’ve been thinking about it, and I know what I want.”
