Wildlife invasion for the win.
I never imagined forgetting to remove the animal’s nest on the second-floor balcony would prove to be so useful. But the cherry on my sabotage sundae was delivering Delia a late-night snack under the guise of a welcoming host. Was it my fault opossums loved fruit? Sure, I may have left a trail of berries leading toward the open door, but it’s not like I picked the critter up and brought him inside.
That was just good fortune.
Some would even call it karma.
“Is there a problem with your room?” I asked with an innocent tilt of my head.
Delia’s eyes narrowed. “Strangely enough, there is. Someone opened my balcony door while I was in the bathroom, and now I have an unwanted guest.”
“Oops.” I shrugged and pushed off the stair rail, doing everything in my power to keep a straight face. “That’s my fault. After our shaky start, I wanted to make up for it with a complimentary fruit plate. I knocked, but no one answered. Your do not disturb sign wasn’t up, so I figured I’d just leave it on your table. But then I noticed the room smelled musty, so I tried to air it out for you. Top-notch housekeeping is part of our charm.”
“Sure it is,” Delia muttered, wincing when something crashed inside the room. She braved a look by opening the door a few inches. I peered over her shoulder, biting the inside of my cheek at the mess. In a matter of minutes, the opossum had scampered around the room wreaking havoc. Pillows were strewn across the floor and the fruit plate had been pillaged, leaving grapes, nuts, and half-eaten cheese on the bedspread. Delia’s poinsettia hadn’t fared well either. The festive shrub was the victim of the muffled crash we’d heard.
“I hope you weren’t attached to that plant.”
“Oh no, not Simon!”
Delia gasped when she located her poinsettia in a pile of dirt by the nightstand. She rushed into the room, ignoring the pesky opossum who’d decided to play dead and was currently lying prone on the floor. Delia knelt next to the fallen plant and carefully turned it upright, groaning as a leaf came loose.
Simon?I made a face. “You name your plants?”
Her head shot up as she tucked the poinsettia against her chest. “Not usually, but this one is special. It was a gift. You know, an object given to show thoughtfulness and caring.” Her lips curled with sarcasm. “Or maybe you don’t know anything about the act of brightening someone’s day.”
Her barb hit home with more force than I thought possible. It must have registered on my face because her features softened, but she didn’t apologize. Instead, she dipped her head and tried to scoop dirt back into the foil-wrapped pot. When she’d gotten most of it, she stood with renewed determination, bolstered by a surprisingly cute scowl. Delia walked a wide circle around the sprawled critter, grabbed her suitcase, and started throwing everything inside.
She was leaving. Finally. I waited for the rush of relief, but it never came. It would though, once I’d regained my solitude. This place would stop smelling like sugar cookies, and I wouldn’t have to listen to her hum Christmas carols while she helped my grandmother dry the dishes. Not that I was eavesdropping. I just happened to be walking past the kitchen after Operation Opossum Bait.
“I’ll call you a taxi. The hotel downtown should have a vacancy.”
Delia zipped her suitcase and offered me a grateful smile. It was warmer than I deserved and somehow seemed to sear itself in my mind. Along with the enticing image of her wearing a button-down green pajama top that clung to her curves, and a pair of candy cane stripped bottoms. A matching set of fuzzy slippers covered her feet.
“Thank you, but I won’t be needing the taxi.” She plucked her battered plant off the nightstand and wheeled her suitcase out of the room. I stood there stunned by her abrupt departure before I lurched after her down the hall. The image of her wearing cozy sleepwear was replaced with her wandering the icy road at night in the same pajamas, and I barely had the forethought to shut the opossum inside the room before she turned the corner.
“You can’t go outside like that! It’s five miles to town in freezing temperatures.” And I hadnotput rock salt on the drive like she’d suggested. Delia might not be wearing heels this time, but fuzzy slippers weren’t known for their traction. She wouldn’t even make it to the main road!
Delia slowed to a stop. “Your concern is noted, but unnecessary.”
“It’s not concern. It’s common sense!”
There was that smile again, but this time it was like she knew a secret. With a quick turn of the doorknob, and a slight kick from a fuzzy slipper, she stepped inside the darkened room behind her.
“I don’t need a taxi because I’m not leaving. I’m switching rooms. Good night, Jack. I trust you’ll take care of our little infestation.” Delia winked, then slammed the door in my face and twisted the deadbolt.
What. Just. Happened?
A light appeared beneath the gap in the door, and Delia started humming another holiday jingle as she presumably unpacked her suitcase. She was probably crooning to her stupid poinsettia, gently arranging the leaves of her special gift.Simon, ugh.What a ridiculous name for a plant. Her words pricked my armor again. How dare she accuse me of not knowing how to brighten someone’s day?
I could do a heck of a lot better than a lame seasonal shrub that was about five bucks a pop at the local big box store. If that was a gift from her boyfriend, then she needed to up her standards. Seeing how desperate she was to save the blasted thing made me think I was right.
My teeth ground together. Whether Delia had a boyfriend who failed at gift-giving shouldn’t matter. What mattered was my plan had failed. And now I needed a new one, or I’d be stuck with the Candy Cane Princess until Christmas. I scraped a hand through my hair, exhaustion weighing heavy on my shoulders.
How I’d become embroiled in this nonsense was beyond me! I was supposed to be counting down the days to ditching the farm and planning my escape, but instead, I was planning retaliation.
Trudging back to free my furry accomplice, I cycled through a few ideas. Wild animals were out and so were any more trojan horse fruit plates. Cutting the heat might make sleeping painfully cold, but in a win for Delia, her new room had a working fireplace and enough kindling to last the night.
No. It had to be something she couldn’t fix herself. An idea formed and with it came a jolt of satisfaction. Delia’s current room might be equipped with a fireplace, but Grandma Jean had been in the middle of overhauling the furnishings, most notably, removing the broken blinds.
