“That’s not what this is about.” His hands scrubbed through his hair, and he squeezed his eyes shut before trying to answer. “I know you don’t understand, but I never wanted to hurt you. Ever.”
A harsh laugh escaped the rawness of my throat. “I can’t believe I fell for this again. We’re done, Leo. For good, this time. Our deal is over. Tell people whatever you want about me. And best of luck with the resort. I'm sure it will be a huge success. Now that you're the golden boy again.”
My boots sank into the deep snow as I bolted back to the lift. I was such a fool, thinking things were different. That maybe I’d been wrong about before. A strange part of me had believed there was more to our past, and if I figured out what it was, it would fix everything.
The sky had grown overcast and giant flakes fell as I ran away from Leo for the second time in my life.
Let it snow. Because I wasn’t going back.
***
“This might be the snowiest Christmas on record,” my mother said as she arranged a pine garland twisted with fairy lights around the linen-draped banquet table.
I didn’t need to look outside to know she was right. It had been a week since I left Leo standing by the overlook, and the storms were coming one after another. Some were quick squalls of angry flakes, others were gentle, almost dreamlike. No matter what I did. No matter how many times I tried to relax—or attempted to numb the pain for a night with spiked eggnog—the snow kept coming.
“I hope the weather doesn’t keep people away from our event.” My mother opened a container of finger sandwiches and placed each one on a metal-tiered display. “It’s wonderful the rink project is funded, but your father is so excited to show off his latest recipe. We’re thinking about adding some new items to the tea menu.”
I stole a finger sandwich from the box and pressed the spongy bread lightly between my fingers before taking a bite. Since we’d raised enough money for the rink project, thanks to the help from an anonymous donor, the moneyraised from tonight’s party would go to a local charity. With only three days until Christmas, the turnout was expected to be huge as the town gathered to celebrate the holiday.
The lodge’s great room had been transformed into a festive winter wonderland with crystal ornaments hanging from the exposed beams and white vintage lantern centerpieces casting a warm glow over the tables. Extra staff put the final touch on the decorations, lighting pillar candles, and preparing for the guests to arrive. There was no sign of Leo.
We hadn’t spoken since that day on the mountain. It was what I wanted, but I couldn’t stop the hopeful part of me that jumped every time my phone jingled with a text. I might be on a forced sabbatical, but if this were one of my cases, I would be in the trenches, working like mad to bring my couple back together. But magical agents weren’t working behind the scenes for me, and as we inched closer to Christmas, the thought of a miracle made me want to sink my phone into a holiday Jell-O mold and sleep till New Year’s.
Fifteen more minutes, and I would make my escape, vanishing into the arriving crowd like a magician in a puff of smoke. Valerie had taken over the main hosting duties, and I was merely a part of the setup crew. Back home, there was a bag of popcorn and the scary version ofA Christmas Carolwith my name on it. No more holiday rom-coms for me. They weren’t hitting the same.
“All right, everyone, it's almost time to get this party started!” Valerie walked into the room wearing a long, black dress and giant snowflake earrings that sparkled with each step.She’d replaced her trusty radio with an earpiece, and she pressed her finger to the device, speaking softly. I didn’t need to guess who was on the other end of that mic.
Make that ten minutes until departure.
“Sage, You’re here!” Valerie flashed a thumbs up to a tray of appetizers and nodded her approval at the centerpieces before she joined me by the banquet tables. “And you look amazing. I love your dress.”
I smoothed my palms down the strapless, red velvet cocktail dress that skimmed the middle of my thighs and fit like a second skin over my body. I’d learned my lesson on Thanksgiving when I showed up at the lodge in old sweatpants, not expecting to run into Leo. I might only have a few minutes left, but I was going to look hot the whole time.
No more Old Sage. New Sage planned to resurrect the epic power move from its watery grave and strut past Leo like he was invisible. Assuming he showed up before the clock ran out.
“I can't stay. I have plans. But everything looks perfect. You did a great job.”
Valerie blushed and waved away the compliment. “I followed your notes. I'm a huge fan—” She coughed lightly into her fist. “I mean, I'm a huge fan of your ideas.”
“Thanks. I'm glad we could work together. You make a great accomplice. Let's stay in touch after I head back to the city.”
“I would love that!” Valerie beamed as she pressed her fingers to her earpiece again. She listened intently, then sighed. “Sorry, I have to go. Your dad needs me in the kitchen. There's a beef Wellington emergency. Whatever that means. But let’s get drinks before you leave town.”
“Count me in.” I gave her a quick hug before she hurried toward the back of the house.
Guests had arrived, filling the room with lively conversation and laughter. Soft jazz played in the background, and the scent of cinnamon mingling with vanilla, and the sweetness of freshly baked cookies floated in the air. I made a final pass of the room, greeting people and sharing plans for the holiday, before ending my tour next to the ten-foot Christmas tree.
A bittersweet ache tightened like a ribbon around my heart. This event was a success, and the town had accepted Leo as one of their own. But the funny thing was, they had also accepted me.
I’d become so wrapped up trying to meet everyone’s expectations, and hiding the fact I wasn’t Agent of the Year, I never noticed when people stopped caring. That sounded harsh, but it was profound. The excitement had lasted a week or two, then faded as it should, in the face of other meaningful moments.
I shouldn’t have let it hold so much power. Winning an award would have been an accolade to put on my resume. A hunk of glass to collect dust on a shelf. It didn’t define me, and it didn’t determine whether I was worthy. Only the way I felt about myself did.
Maybe coming home was about finally letting go of the past and my need to prove myself. Because at the end of the day, I was the only one keeping score.
Too bad my brilliant breakthrough wasn’t enough to stop the snow. It still fell, without end, outside the giant picture windows.
I think my curse had glitched, or I was trapped in an evil elf’s snow globe. If learning to accept myself wasn’t the final answer, then this was one screwed-up game, with no cheat codes, and a brutal boss level.
