Gavin’s tone was hollow. Thin and frayed like wind howling through an empty tunnel. It made my throat ache.
“Why?”
“Because I had a shit night, Marin. And I need you…”
His throat worked. A shudder rolled through him. His heart pounded against his ribs, his warmth sinking into me.
“I need you to pretend you don’t hate me. Just for a minute,” he finished, his tone hoarse.
I breathed deeply, pushing past the sting in my chest. I’d never seen him like this before. Gavin was unshakeable. A man with ten plans in case the first nine failed. But now, it looked like he was barely holding himself together.
“Fine. But only for a minute. I don’t want to get used to it.”
“No. Let’s not risk that.” Somehow, he held me tighter. I should have pulled away. But I didn’t.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I want to forget about it.”
“Hmm.” The sound rumbled in my throat. “I know what that’s like.”
Gods, how I wished I could forget. The last few years. The version of me who didn’t question every feeling. Mistrust every kind word. The woman who didn’t carry scars on the inside and out.
I let my fingers curl into the front of his shirt. “I don’t know how to forget. But sometimes, when I’m having a hard time just existing, I try to count things.”
His breath ruffled the hair at the top of my head. “There’s only one of you.”
I laughed softly. “I meant count the stars or pebbles in the sand. But maybe counting isn't your thing.”
It’s been way longer than a minute.But Gavin still needed a distraction. And I, foolishly, needed to give him one.
“I bought a new pair of boots today,” I mused, tipping my head back to study his granite features. “They have thick soles and are made from the finest leather. Feels like walking on air. Did you know…” I pressed a finger lightly to his chest. “that in some kingdoms, boots are made out of fish?”
“What?” His shoulders jerked in surprise.
“Yeah. Fascinating, isn’t it? They tan the fish leather, then layer it over a soft lining before stitching it together. Very water-resistant,” I added with a solemn nod. “I bought you a pair, too. Guess what they’re made of?”
“No, you didn’t.” He pulled back, searching my face. A hint of a smile formed on his lips.
“Afraid so. I had a lot of money to spend. And I took advantage.”
His eyes held mine. The hollowness in them faded, shifted to amusement, then darkened into something that made my breath catch.
“I bet you did. What else did my money buy?”
“New clothes. Food rations—the good stuff. A new dagger—extra sharp.”
Shackles…
I tensed. This had gone too far. I’d slipped into the familiarity of the Gavin and Marin from before. When one of my absurd facts would make him smile. And it had worked. It hadalwaysworked. But that didn’t change anything.
Slowly, I pressed the flat of my hand against his chest, creating space between us. His arms tightened for just a second, then a flicker of resignation flashed in his eyes, the light in them dimming as he dropped his arms.
“Minute’s up. We should clean that cut before it gets worse.” I walked away, then dug into my bag for a clean rag, the small pot of salve Cass had given me, and my leather flask. “Wouldn’t want you to drop dead from a fever before you find your precious pile of gold.”
Gavin bit out a weary curse. “Marin, about that—”
“Sit.” Ipointed to my bedroll.
