“Guess I’m your boss now, Grant.” She lifted the flowers like a microphone, her voice mock-solemn. “In sickness and in health… until death do you fetch my morning coffee.”
“Very funny, Spells.” I grabbed her around the waist and hauled her flush against me. Her startled gasp feathered across my lips as I caught her hand between us, the cool band pressing against my chest. “The only part I’m cherishing is the death clause,” I murmured. “But you’re right. I vow to annoy you until my last breath. Now, take it off.”
Her eyes flared, pupils wide and dark. The air between us shifted. Every nerve in my body sparked with the press of her curves, the ring between us like a live fuse.
Then the lanterns flickered. Their flames guttered before bursting back to life. A strange draft pricked my skin as the curtains snapped in a phantom wind, and the opening notes of the Wedding March swelled around us.
We both froze as a flurry of white shapes burst from the rafters—doves, not seagulls—freaking doves, scattered into the darkening sky.
“Is that—? No…” Valerie’s voice broke on the word, her face paling with horror.
I blinked as a robed man stepped out of the trees, walking steadily toward the pavilion. A wide smile lit his craggy face,and tufts of white hair sprouted behind his ears. He carried a worn book etched with ancient-looking markings.
“You two made it after all. The planner told me you’d pushed the ceremony to tomorrow so you could still use the beach pavilion. All the guests are still at the hotel. But when our motion sensors came on, and I got the signal, I thought to myself,those two lovebirds couldn’t wait another day.”
“Lovebirds?” Valerie flinched. “Clearly, you’re mistaken.”
He eyed us, still wrapped in each other’s arms, surrounded by rose petals and the last rays of golden light. We weren’t exactly giving off enemy vibes. He waved a hand through the air as if to say,Young people these days.
“There’s no mistake.” The man flipped open his book, unbothered. “You’re Mr. and Mrs. Henderson from suite B, here for our classic Bewitched Wedding Package.” He ran his wrinkled finger down the page. “Let’s see… You opted for thePetals and Hearts-in-Harmonylongevity add-on. Haven’t seen one of those in ages. Most couples leave the door open for an early out.” He beamed, wagging a finger. “But not you two! Ah, young love.”
Valerie lifted her chin. “No, not young love. I’m Valerie Spellman. This is Grant Delaney, and we got stuck in the storm on a hike. We just need a ride back to the other side of the island.”
“Oh, I see. I forgot my glasses. I can’t see a lick without those.” The man furrowed his brow and patted the sides of his robe. “You know, I hate when this happens. I told corporate we needed more signposts around the pavilion, but they never listen,” he grumbled mostly to himself before letting out a sigh. “We’d be happy to escort you both back to your resort, right after you review the clause and longevity stipulations.”
My stomach dropped. “What clause?”
“The magical marriage clause.” He tapped the book with a serene smile. “I’m afraid the two of you activated the ritual ceremony. Regardless of who you are, your nuptials and the package selected are binding.”
Valerie’s knees buckled, and I had to tighten my grip or she’d face-plant in the rose petals.
“This is your fault,” she whisper-growled. “Fix it. Now.”
“My fault? You’re the one wearing my ring, and I wasn’t the one spouting off about sickness and health with a fistful of flowers in my face.”
“No, you just vowed to annoy me until death.” She sputtered, then rounded on the man. “It wasn’t real. I was riffing off the scene! We can’t be married. Look at me.” She flung a hand down her frazzled hair, sweaty tank top, and muddy shorts. “I’m an injured hiker, not Frankenstein’s bride.”
The man nodded sympathetically. “I understand completely. Unfortunately, none of that matters. You wore the ring, and vows were exchanged. There’s no gray area in the enchantment.” He climbed the steps, his robe trailing through the flower petals. “But good news, there is a number you can call for customer service. I’m sure one of our representatives would be happy to help sort this out.”
He slipped a glossy card from the folds of his robe. Silver foil numbers gleamed against the black cardstock. Valerie snatched it with a frown.
“Now,” he continued, “regarding your nuptial package and the clause, here are the directives.”
A scroll appeared from the same hidden pocket as the card. He unfurled it with a papery crackle and handed it over. Valerie scanned it quickly, her eyes widening as our names materializedon the parchment like vanishing ink in reverse. A strangled cry tore from her throat, echoing through the pavilion. I took my time, alarm coiling through my chest with every line.
The Bewitched Marriage Agreement—Petals and Hearts-in-Harmony add-on
This binding contract certifies the magical union of:Grant DelaneyandValerie Spellman.
Term of Union:A minimum of two years must elapse before annulment, dissolution, or any petition for separation may be recognized.
Obligations of the Parties:
Both parties will take part in the scheduled alignment exercises.
Each party shall give the union proper care, effort, and attention in the spirit of longevity and prosperity.
Witnessedand sealed by magical authority at sunset.
