“Hang on, Van. Help is coming.” I held my side because a tinge of pain was surfacing.
“I’m okay, Chaos. Are you okay? He hurt you.” he said with jagged breath as his eyelids fluttered and his head lolled a little.
“I’m okay, baby, but you can’t close your eyes right now.”
He rotated his head a little so he could look right up at me, and his beautiful chocolate-brown eyes darted around my face but looked disoriented.
“Audra? You’re crying. No tears … I’m okay. God, you’re so … stunningly beautiful. My … Beautiful Chaos.” His words were choppy with gasps, and it was hard for him to speak.
A sob choked out of my mouth. He was slurring a bit too, like he was a little drunk. I knew it was most likely the beginning of him losing consciousness.
“Just relax, Donovan. Don’t talk anymore. You have to stay with me, though, Van. Just listen to my voice, okay? You have to hang on because you told me to lose my running shoes, remember? So I did. My shoes are gone. You can’t go now too. That wouldn’t be fair.”My words were desperate.
He smiled as his eyes closed and he whispered with broken breath, “Burn the fucking shoes, Audra.”
I was no longer in control of the volume of my voice because as he got quieter, mine got louder and more desperate.
“Donovan Wright, I bet you can’t keep your eyes open!” I tried challenging him. When that didn’t work, I turned back to begging. “Open your beautiful brown eyes, Van. I want to get lost in them right now. Where are your eyes?”
He lolled his head again like he was trying to, but they stayed closed as if he could no longer do it. Juliette let out another sob, and she tried to conceal it while next to me, as she covered her mouth with the bloody towel.
“Please stay with me, Donovan,” I pleaded to him, and anyone else in the universe listening. “You cannot leave me. You promised you wouldn’t hurt me. You promised,” my voice gave out as the tears fell freely from my face. I was smoothing his hair with my free hand and touching his cheek, a thought flew into my brain.
“You have to sit, Van. Sit up for me.” I’m not sure how I did it, but I snaked my arms under his armpits, and heaved his large body up into mine so he was semi-reclined in my arms. He was dead weight, and I’m not sure I could ever do that again, even if I tried. This position would take some of the pressure off the collapsed lung, and hopefully, he could breathe a little easier.Why didn’t I start with him reclined? I knew better.I admonished myself.
“Audra,” he said, gasping, with his head back on my shoulder. “I love...” he couldn’t even finish the sentence, but I knew what he was going to say. Those words should be uttered in a joyful time, followed up with hugs, kisses, and mind-blowingI love yousex. But those words injected fear directly into myheart, because they felt like the words of a man who was dying in my lap. His last testament.
“No! Don’t leave me, Donovan,” I whispered into his ear, and I started to rock him because I didn’t know what else to do. Panic had settled into my body. “You have to stay with me because I love you too”—I stroked his forehead—“I need time to show you. Give me a chance to love you how you deserve to be loved, Donovan Wright. We have too many adventures left. Please stay.” Grief seized my throat, and words dissolved into sobs I couldn’t control as I put my head on his and cried.
In that instant, all the emergency services seemed to converge on us simultaneously. One officer pulled Theo out in handcuffs while the others came to help us. Juliette stood as Murphy went over to wrap his arms around her. As I tried to tell them about Donovan’s injury, the stretcher came into view, and the paramedic bent down.
“We need to take him,” the EMT said to me.
I nodded my head yes.
“Now,” he said forcefully, and I nodded my head yes again.
“Audra,” Juliette bent down and physically pried my hands off of Donovan by my wrists. “You have to let go,” she said.
I didn’t even realize I was still holding him. Nodding my head a third time, they whisked Donovan away to save his life. I was having trouble processing what was going on because suddenly, my brain felt foggy, and I was dizzy and cold. All at once, I registered all the warm, sticky blood around me and got nauseous at the slightly metallic smell. Then I looked at Jules as she held my wrists, noting her wide, red-rimmed eyes. I shook my head no at her, and that was the last thing I remembered.
* * *
I woke up to the sounds of a hospital and saw a body sitting in a chair next to me. The room looked eerily familiar. Ittook a couple of seconds to register that it was the hospital I worked at.
“Dad?” I choked out, my words sounding like sandpaper. My father hopped out of his chair and flew over to hug me.
“Audra, you’re awake. Oh my god, you’re awake. Thank God,” the last word barely getting out as he swallowed his emotion. “You shouldn’t have to be here again, my sweet girl.”
I tried sitting up more, but there was pain all around my body.
“You can’t get up, kid, not right now.”
I felt like my brain was still coming online because I was so foggy. “How long was I out for? What happened? Where’s Donovan?” The barrage of questions left my mouth. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw 2:15. Since it was dark, it had to be two in the morning. I’d been out for just under twelve hours, I figured.
“Let me get Trina and Carol,” he said, standing and walking away.
“Dad,” I said with such force it stopped him in his tracks. “Where’s Donovan?” His eyes looked at me with such incredible sadness and pity that it felt like all the air was sucked out of the room. No. My eyes filled with tears instantly.
