“When I overheard you mention leaving, I panicked. I still don’t know what that was about, and instead of letting you explain, I shut you out. Fear took over and I did what I always do. I ran.” Jo snorts out a laugh and adds, “I mean, not physically. The only reason I’d run physically is if someone is chasing me.”
“I know what you meant, love. You ran emotionally.”
Jo nods and goes on, eyes fixed on something just past my shoulder. Like if she looks at me too long, she might not be able to say the things she needs to. “I’m the poster child for fight or flight mode, Tyler. I thought by shutting you out, I wasprotecting myself from pain. But all I did was hurt you. I hurt Abby and Jay. And I hurt myself. Last week I was miserable.”
“Believe me, the feeling was mutual, Jo.”
She finally turns sky blue eyes to me. “I’ve done this over and over my whole life. I convince myself I don’t need anyone because that feels safer than trust. The only people I really trust are Penny and Lisa.” She pauses. “Well, honestly, our whole little group, but that’s the extent of it.”
Jo takes my hands in hers, eyes roaming my face before meeting mine. “And now you. This week I realized I trust you. I pushed you away because you matter so much to me Tyler…too much, maybe. But I’m tired of letting fear be the loudest voice in my head.”
I stay silent, letting her get it all out. I want her to have every second she needs.
“I know I hurt you,” she whispers. “I know I screwed up. All I can do is hope you’ll forgive me for how I acted. The day I overheard your phone call I should have paused long enough to let you explain. Believe me, one thing I learned last week is hurting everyone around me solves nothing. But I want to do it differently now. I want to stop waiting for it all to fall apart. I want to believe that someone could stay…and maybe that someone is you?”
My chest rises on a breath while I study Jo’s breathtaking face. Even more beautiful because she’s brave enough to be vulnerable with me. What courage it must take for someone as strong as this woman to expose herself to me like this. What a treasure she truly is to me. Now, though, it’s time for me to be honest with her.
“Jo, I need to show you something.”
She nods, and I go to the nightstand to retrieve the paperwork Chad signed. Returning to the couch, I hand it over to Jo. She opens it, eyes scanning the page while I wait anxiously for a response. She’s quiet, brows furrowed, and for a moment I fearshe won’t see this for what it is. A promise. A way to say I’m not going anywhere.
“What is this, Tyler?” Her voice trembles and one hand goes to her mouth.
“I wasn’t leaving in the way you thought I meant. When Kate was researching the principal, I also asked her to find Chad. That’s where I went, to pay him a visit. Honestly, I had no idea how you’d react to my plan—but for us to have a future together, I had to face him man to man.” I huff a humorless laugh. “He’s a piece of shit, that guy. Not sure I can call him a man. He signed away his rights to Jay.”
Jo’s mouth turns down and her eyes well up. Shit. This is all coming out wrong and I’m fucking it up.
“You did this without talking to me first?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a breath to try and steady my pulse. Why did I think leaving Jo out of this decision made any sense at all? Her children are her entire world, and I stepped in and made this decision for her.
“I thought I was helping. You wanted a clean slate from him and now you have it.”
She reads over the paper again, eyes moving over each line before landing on his signature at the bottom. “While I wish you’d told me you were doing this, I’m surprisingly not mad.”
“No?”
Jo shakes her head and I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding, relief crashing over me.
“No. You gave me closure. I feel like this dark cloud has lifted and I’m free from him.”
Her cheeks lift as her face splits into the most devastating smile and I know I have to lay it all out on the line.
“Jo. I’d want you in every lifetime, in every version of myself, in every parallel universe we might exist in. We can make this work. I know we can.” I motion between us. “Our kids are a bonus.”
Her chin begins to wobble. “Our kids?”
Taking her face in my hands, I force her gaze up to meet mine. I need her to see the truth in my eyes. “Listen to me. I want to spend forever with you. I want you as my wife, I want Abby as my daughter, and if I can have your blessing, I’d like the option to adopt Jay. It doesn’t have to be soon. Whenever you’re ready and you think he’s ready. I want to be a family with all three of you.”
Fresh tears fill Jo’s eyes and she shakes her head. “You want all three of us?” she asks quietly.
“Yeah, Jo. I do.”
“I’m messy. You know this, right? And you’re…” She stops and motions around to the pristine room we’re sitting in.
“Yes, love. I know this.”
“Well, I’m also a lot. I’m loud. I have no filter. I love big but I take a minute to accept love in return. I jump to the worst conclusions and then overthink them until my mind feels like a tilt-a-whirl. I’m rarely on time, and you’re Mr. Punctual. If you can’t handle all of me, you don’t get any of me. So I need you to think long and hard about if this is really what you want.”
