The hand fisting my hair gently guides me back down, and this time I move faster, keeping up a rhythm that has Tyler whispering barely restrained praises. But the next thing I know, his hands are pulling me up and onto the couch, ass-up, him positioned behind me. With quick movements, he’s sliding down my shorts and panties and his cock slams into me, hard and deep to the hilt. I moan into a throw pillow at the fullness.
Tyler is large, easily the largest I’ve ever had, and the way he stretches me has me seeing stars. There is no way I won’t feel this tomorrow.
“Jo,” Tyler says, low enough for only my ears. “I wish you could see how pretty you look taking me.”
Each snap of Tyler’s hips is hard, relentless, and I can feel my orgasm building. I thrust into him, matching the pace he’s set, and it’s unlike anything my mind could have dreamed up. I move my hand to rub my clit, and Tylertsksbehind me. With the hand not gripping my hip, he reaches around and plays my clit like a fucking fiddle until my release breaks free. It’s white hot up my spine and I’m burying my face in the pillow again, biting down on the plush fabric.
Tyler’s release comes soon after, his thrusts becoming erratic and he lets out a low growl thrusting hard into me just as another orgasm builds, quick and unexpected, leaving me gasping out his name. His large hands splay against my back, still pumping in and out while we both catch our breath.
When we’ve both come down from our bliss, he slides out, grabs a nearby box of tissues to clean me up, and slides my shorts and panties back in place.
Settling back on the couch, he draws me closer until I’m nestled into his side, and I’m asleep again before I realize it.
I wake to the sound of Tyler’s voice, normally so calm, sharp with frustration. Sitting up, I look around until I spot him through a window. He’s standing on my front porch, one hand braced on his hip, phone to his ear.
I shouldn’t listen. His conversation isn’t my business. And yet…I find myself moving, crossing to the front door, straining my ears to catch what he’s saying.
“I don’t know what she’ll think, man.” A pause. “Yes. I know there’s a good chance she’ll be mad.”
She? Who is she and why would she be mad? Is he talking about me? A ringing sound starts in my ear, and it’s like a stone has dropped in my belly. Bile rises in my throat and I think I might be sick.
Things have been going so well, I can’t imagine what I’d be mad about if I’m the she he’s referring to.
“Well, I’m going regardless. I have to do this. I leave next week.”
The air rushes from my lungs in one giant whoosh and my breaths come shallow and quick, like I’m sprinting though my feet are lead standing here. Blood rushes in my ears muffling all the sounds around me. All my doubts, my memories, all thefears of never being worth staying for, the ones I’ve spent my life pushing to the side, rise up unimpeded, whispering in my ear, irrational but familiar.
He wouldn’t…would he? This is Tyler.
But I’ve been blindsided before, leaving me with scars to prove it, and here I am again, with the rug being yanked out from under my feet. I back up a step, then another, an instinct kicking in to run before he’s given a chance to hurt me. But then the doorknob turns and Tyler’s entering, head bowed pinching the bridge of his nose.
I don’t know what my face is doing, but it must show that I overheard his phone call, because when Tyler sees me standing there, all the color drains from his face.
“You’re leaving?” The question comes as a broken whisper and I nod to the phone in his hand.
Tyler steps into my space, placing a hand on my arm, but I flinch away. I can’t bear being touched right now. Biting the inside of my cheek until I taste copper, I squeeze my eyes shut and try to breathe through my emotions.
“I need you to calm down. Let’s talk about this.”
My eyes flash and I take in a sharp breath. “Calm down?I overhear you say you’re leaving and you have the nerve to tell me to calm down?” Nostrils flaring, I take a step back, creating space between us.
“It’s not what you think. I’m working things out. It’s complicated. But I have to,” Tyler stammers.
“Nothing you’re saying makes sense, Tyler”—my voice breaks—“and yet you still haven’t denied you’re leaving.”
Spinning, I start down my hall, but Tyler catches my elbow. “Jo, wait.”
“I can’t. I can’t do this. I don’t know what to think right now.”
Slowly, he shakes his head, his mouth set in line. “What else do you want from me? Tell me. I’ve done all I know to do andit’s still not enough. Hell, Jo. You haven’t even told Abby I’m her father. You’re ripping my heart to shreds.”
But doesn’t he see? This is why I haven’t. Everything I’m feeling is exactly what I want to protect her from. This right here proves that waiting was the right choice.
“I don’t know what’s going on. My head hurts and I’m still exhausted. I think I need some space to think.” Turning, I head to my room and shut the door behind me. I hear Tyler’s footsteps approach, pausing outside my door.
“Just go, Tyler,” I say through the door, and after a few minutes I hear the front door open and shut. The sound feels so final and something inside of me crumples. I press my nails into my palm, focusing on the stab of pain there rather than my heart. The last few weeks I’ve been given something I wanted so desperately I could taste it, but now I know I can’t have.
The rest of the evening, I stew. Abby and Jay got home not long after Tyler left and I tried for a convincing face so they wouldn’t know something’s wrong. I smiled when they told me about their time with Greg and Lisa, but finally retreated to my bed, letting thoughts of betrayal and doubt slither in and claw their way to the forefront of my mind.
