They all trade meaningful looks, having a silent conversation of their own.
“Clearlysomeonethinks they’re the asshole,” Penny says under her breath, then all eyes are on me.
Lisa’s the one to respond. “This is an intervention.”
I sigh and drop down on the couch. Penny and Cassie settle on the floor pouring three glasses of wine and juice for Penny. Taking a glass from Cassie, I take a long sip to stall. This day was inevitably going to happen. I’m sure Tyler has told Austin how I’ve been acting, and Austin told Penny and Cassie. And then they all got Lisa involved because she’s much older than the rest of us and the mother figure of our group. When she speaks I listen. Or try to, at least.
“Josie, you’re not being fair to Tyler,” Penny starts. “I don’t know what’s going on. I know you don’t mean to be the asshole, but he’s hurting, and obviously you are, too.”
“Honestly, this whole thing is pissing me off,” Cassie rushes out, and I whip my head to her.
Penny shakes her head quickly. “Nope, Cass. Back away slowly.”
But I’m already seething. “No, Penny. Let her speak. What about this pisses you off, Cassie?”
Cassie pushes her hair back from her face and sits up straighter. “Josie, I’m not trying to guilt you or push you into something you’re not ready for. But I’m going to say this, and I need you to really hear me. Tyler is my brother in every sense of the word. I know him better than most people.” She blows out a breath, eyes boring into me. “He’s such a good person. Like…down-to-his-bones good. He’s been showing up for you, for Abby, for Jay, since day one. Surely you see how good he is. And you’re pushing him away like he’s disposable. It’s just wrong. I know I’m new here, and I love you to pieces, but he’s my family. I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. He’s not perfect, but when he loves, he’s all in. No games. No half-measures. Anyone with eyes can see he’s already in this with you.”
Cassie gives me a long, considerate look before she presses on.
“So if you don’t want him, fine. Let him go. Don’t keep him hanging in the middle. He doesn’t deserve that. Josie, have you seen him? You’re breaking him. And the worst part is, I don’t think you even want to.”
Her words hit harder than I expect. Because she’s not wrong. And that does make it worse.
“The two of you share a child, for fuck’s sake. Work this shit out. Fight for it. Because there is no one—and I mean no one—more worth it. You don’t have to be fully healed from all you’ve been through to accept what he’s offering. I promise, if you give Tyler a chance, he’ll move heaven and earth for you and those kids.” Cassie’s voice rises the longer she speaks, and Penny nudges her to quiet down, motioning down the hall to the kids’ rooms. All I can hope is that Abby has her new earbuds in.
“Oh, and about that,” Cassie adds, lowering her voice. “I’m on a roll now. It’s past time that you guys told her. I get that you’re all in your head about this, but that kid deserves to know the truth.”
I take three long breaths, eyes closed to steady myself. Fighting with Cassie will solve nothing, and will only add to my stress level. Hurting people hurt people, and I don’t want to do that to her. Plus, I know Cassie is channeling her inner therapist, treating me like one of her clients.
“Cassie,” I begin, steeling my spine, but my voice wavers, belying my false sense of resolve. “I have lived my entire adult life watching everyone in this town feel sorry for me. Countless times I’ve wondered if, behind my back, people around townwhisper,Poor Josie. Nobody sticks around for her.” I jab my chest with my finger. “I am pissed off. Pissed off at my mom, my dad, Chad, pissed off that my grandmother is fading from my life, pissed off that it took fourteen years for Tyler and I to find each other again. And pissed off that he plans on leaving me.” Penny’s eyes snap to mine. “Oh yes. I heard him on the phone telling someone he’s leaving, right as I’m beginning to trust him. I’d made up my mind we’d tell Abby this week and everything. When I confronted him, he couldn’t even give me an explanation. And what pisses me off the most is that I love him with every bit of my beating heart and nowhe’sleaving, too.”
My voice breaks but I refuse to let the shimmer of tears fall. Then I realize what I’ve said out loud.I love him with every bit of my beating heart.
Penny, Cassie, and Lisa all sit wearing matching shocked expressions, the air heavy with my confession.
Penny is the one who speaks up. “Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here, Jo. But first, you love him?”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I nod. “So much. I miss him terribly and I hate how much I love him because he’s leaving. That’s why I have to push him away first. I just…” I choke out, blinking rapidly. “I’ve spent so long convincing myself I was better off alone. That it was safer not to expect anything from anyone. Because expecting things means you have something to lose.”
Penny moves to sit beside me, putting an arm around my shoulder. “And now you have something to lose.”
“I haveeverythingto lose.”
I repeat the conversation I overheard the other day and my reaction. Looking at each of their faces, it’s clear they’re as puzzled as I am. We sit quiet for a second before Cassie lets out a breath and leans back on her hands, eyes scanning the ceiling. “I’m gonna say something. You heard part of a conversation. Not the whole thing and not with all the information. You made an assumption, and now you’re ready to burn down the whole damn house because youthinkthe match is already lit.”
“I don’t know what his conversation was about, but there’s gotta be a missing piece because I don’t see him leaving,” Penny says, shaking her head. “You need to talk to him.”
I look to Lisa to see if she has anything to add. She’s been quiet this whole time, and I’m desperate for her opinion.
“You love him?” I nod at her question, and she goes on. “Then fight for him, Josie. It’s like you’re waiting to be proven right, that Tyler will leave. It sounds to me like he’s already proven himself to you, so find it in yourself to believe him, to believe you’re worth staying for. Because you are, my friend. You’re so worth it.”
That’s when the tears finally spill over. I’ve cried more this year than my whole life combined, and I’m getting tired of so many big emotions. I let the tears stream down my face, smearing my mascara. Lisa stands to grab a box of tissue from the bathroom and returns, handing me the whole box.
None of us speak for a while, sitting quietly sipping our wine, and Penny her juice. I’m thankful to have friends like these who aren’t afraid to call me on my bullshit and love me through it.
“Thank you,” I eventually say, my voice hoarse. “Thank you all for this. I needed the honesty, even though it was hard to hear. I don’t know if I say this enough, but I love you ladies.” I look at each of them, leaving Cassie for last and I reach across and squeeze her hand, letting her know we’re good. “Also, I don’t think I’ve cried this much since the plane crash episode ofGrey’s Anatomy. Tears streaming, snotty nose, ugly crying.”
Penny laughs and shakes her head. “You’re so dramatic.”
