She didn’t know if it was the shame of the event or the misery of losing her, but he could not look her in the eye. No, instead helooked to some random spot on the floor of the boat. “I came to bring you this gun.” Now he looked to it. “I know you said you didn’t want it, but”—he finally looked up—“well, with the way Mr. Runington was acting, I was worried he might come before your scheduled day when I was not around.”
He looked at her so pleadingly. “Please, Daria—Miss Wains.” He grimaced as he corrected himself, but then he realized, “Oh, does this mermaid have a last name?”
“He does not.” Or really, he had never mentioned one. She felt silly to say that she had married him without ever asking something so simple, but did such trivial things matter in comparison to matters of the heart? And really, she wanted to know everything—and it was that fact that made her feel not quite so awful for not knowing if he had any other names, for if she wished to know all of him, in time that meant she would.
“Then Miss Wains—”
“Please call me Daria. You always have, even when it was against what was proper.”
“And you have always called me Mr. Wilson. I suppose I should have taken the hint.”
Not that it was ever meant to be a hint, but she wouldn’t say that now. “Mr. Wilson, I’m sure it’s for the best. Would you really want to live at this lighthouse? Probably not. And I have no wish to start a family, while you have always seemed like you would make a wonderful father. I’m sure I could not have made you happy.”
His eyes said, ‘But I was happy with only having you beside me,’ but gentleman that he was, he stiffly swallowed it back and nodded. “Then, Daria, please, I beg you. Take the gun. I will still come Tuesday, but just in case.”
She took it from his hand.
“Do you know how to shoot it?”
She shook her head.
He started showing her, explaining this and that, how to reload and how to aim. Upon further questions, he was showing her the inside and explaining how to clean it and how it worked—for as a carpenter his mind often went to such questions too.
It was a marvel, one she could appreciate even if she didn’t appreciate what it did.
He hadn’t brought any extra bullets; it was loaded with six still. She doubted she would even use one.
“If nothing else, it should startle them off,” hesaid. “Kallias won’t be able to defend you, so you must protect you both.”
It was so sweet that he was already thinking of such things. “You’re such a good man,” she said.
“I said you would have a friend in me, didn’t I? I was the fool for never acting for all these years. I must not allow myself to grow bitter to you for it.”
Yes, a good man indeed.
“Still,” he continued, starting to actuallyrowthe boat. “I want to meet him.” He headed them toward the dock. “I know you speak highly of him, but it would greatly ease my mind.”
She nodded. “I think that’s fine. I think you’ll like him. You’re both similar in a way. Kind to a fault.”
“You would not say that if you heard my thoughts,” he teased.
“Oh, I don’t know. My father used to say that courage was not the absence of fear for there was no courage without it. One cannot be brave over something that does not bother them. Goodness is probably the same, no? How could you be good if you never had the chance to choose the darkness?”
He smiled, though there was still a touch of melancholy. “Perhaps you’re right.”
“I am sorry though,” she said. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“It’s alright,” he said, looking to the lighthouse. “Just tell me you truly love him and that he’ll be good to you and love you back, and that will be enough for me. First and foremost, I want your happiness, Daria. I’ve always wanted your happiness.”
“Are those really the words you want to hear?” she asked, the corner of her lips now turning up in silent sadness. Why torture himself like that by hearing about their happiness?
But he said, “Yes, in fact, I need to hear it. I need to hear that you love him and will truly be happy for all your days.” He snorted a laugh. “You look at me like I’m a masochist, but tell me it and fully end my misery, Miss Wains. Masochism would be to not hear it.”
“I love him,” she said. His swallow that followed was tense. “I love him with all my life.”
He nodded as if coming to a conclusion. “Then that is enough for me. May I still visit as a friend?”
“Always.”
