The movement jolted her out of her spiraling thoughts, but she couldn’t face him as herself. He would surely see the evidence of her guilt. Instead, she draped her arms over his shoulders and grinned. “Is it time for a lesson in punishment?”
He frowned. “You were upset a moment ago. You looked as if you’d seen a ghost.”
“A trifling matter.” She pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss.
He loosened his grip. “You don’t have to do this, Olivia. You don’t have to hide yourself from me.”
Her seductive smile slipped. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He cupped her face in his hands and rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. God knows I have my own flaws. But I would rather have all of you than see only the parts that you feel are acceptable.”
A lump formed in her throat. She tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn’t budge. She opened her lips, and no sound came out.
“You can’t let it go, can you?” He walked over to a daybed, tore the heavy blanket from atop it, and draped it over his shoulders. Then he walked toward her, the blanket draped around his body. When he was close enough to touch, he raised his arms.
“Come to me, Helen,” he said in a gravelly voice.
His words were straight out of the story she had read in his notebook, where George comforted his wife. He was giving her an excuse to fall into a different role alongside him.
It was a temptation she could not resist.
Her eyes burned with tears before she let the character of Helen settle around her. She opened her mouth once again, and this time, words came out, rough but understandable. “Yes, husband.”
Then she launched herself against his chest.
The blanket smelled musty and scratched where it touched her skin, but she didn’t care. The added sensation helped drown out the guilt and anger churning within her.
He dug his fingers into her scalp and rubbed circles that sent a tingling sensation down her back. She relaxed againsthis body, putting more and more of her weight on him until he paused his ministrations to pick her up and carry her to a chair. Then he settled her on his lap.
She kept waiting for him to ask for whatever it was he wanted in exchange, to demand another lesson or start one without her consent. Nearly every man she had ever been intimate with had used kindness as a currency to buy sexual favors.
But he remained silent, wrapped around her like a tight-fitting glove.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”
She was the furthest thing from okay. His gentle words and actions stoked a furnace deep inside her and made her want to kiss him and sob in equal measure.
“You’re shaking.” He kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
She breathed in his clean soap smell until she no longer felt like she was going to explode, her muscles relaxing an inch at a time.
“There. That’s better.”
She knew she should return to the ball, but the emotions whirling within her were not yet settled, and her head still ached.
She plucked his cravat free and began unbuttoning his shirt.
“Are you sure?” Thel asked.
She answered by tearing at his clothes in a fury, desperate to feel his skin beneath her fingers. He stayed passive beneath her, one hand still rubbing her back.
At last, his chest was bare. She reached for the fall of his trousers.
“Not yet,” he whispered. “I want you to have your pleasure first.”
His words sent bolts of heat to her center. She took his right hand and slid it beneath her skirts. He smoothed his palm up her thigh until the backs of his fingers brushed her curls, his thumb tantalizingly close to her entrance. Still, he did not venture further. It was as if he were charting her, learning every curve and hollow of her body. Finally, he slid his finger around her clitoris.
She saw stars.
