‘I would like that.’
I had never wanted a child, but then, in that moment with one growing in my belly, I would have given my last breath for his. I whispered my own prayers that night, to which God, I do not know. I just wanted someone to save us.
‘May great Thor protect you, with his strong arm and mighty hammer. May the mother Holle hold and comfort you and may all blessings be upon you,’ he whispered.
I lay on my back, propped against a mound of blankets, just as Sigurd had placed me. Too afraid to move. Too afraid to breathe too deeply for fear it might cause him to rush into the world too early.
Exhaustion swept over me. I closed my eyes, willing the goddess Freyja to watch over us and keep us safe.
‘I will be with you,’ Sigurd soothed. ‘I will not leave you.’
Things were not yet healed between us. Words that had been forgiven but not forgotten.
I listened closely to the crackle of the fire and the shuffling of Brigid too-ing and fro-ing to check that I was still comfortable.
Finally, somewhere in the darkness, I succumbed to sleep.
?
I started myself awake, beneath a mound of blankets. Shafts of dawn crept through in through small cracks in the shutters, catching dust motes dancing in mid-flight. I sat up slowly, the pallet rustling beneath me.
Remembering, I placed a hand instinctively to my belly and could feel the familiar swell and the soft movement beneath. He was still with me. Freyja had not failed me. I cannot explain that feeling, even now.
As I turned my head, I caught sight of Sigurd lying on the hard floor next to me, curled like a farm cat. He looked ashen. Face as pale as the stone he lay on.
‘Sigurd,’ I said. placing a hand on his cheek.
He sat bolt upright. ‘Are you alright?’ he said hoarsely. ‘Are you both all right?’
I took his hand with its long cool fingers and placed them flat against my stomach. The fluttering was inconsistent, rolling, fading, but as I placed his hand to it, our child answered by kicking wildly.
I could not take my eyes off Sigurd’s face. First startled and then the colour rushed back as it flooded with excitement. I had never seen him so happy.
‘The gods have blessed us,’ he said to my navel. ‘You are still with us, little one.’ He kissed it. ‘I love you.’
‘And I you,’ I said quietly before I had time to think about it.
I did not get to say those words nearly enough. I can count on one hand the times that I said them, and I can see each moment so clearly in my mind’s eye. In this one, his blue eyes met mine, he smiled, and he took my face in his hands, and he kissed me.
Hearing us awake, Brigid breezed in casting open the shutters and putting more wood on the fire. The flames were soon guttering and flickering. The heat in the room was soon unbearable. I could not tell if it was from the fire or my cheeks.
‘Are you feeling better?’ She smiled, handing me a cup of warmed milk.
‘Yes. Much.’ I took the cup gratefully. ‘Is it possible that we rest here a wee while before we leave for Byrgisey?’
‘Aye, on one condition,’ she said. ‘Ye must break-fast with us. I have some salted gannet and a wee bannock and some freshly churned butter.’
She truly was a wonder. ‘We would be blessed that you would allow us to eat at your table.’
‘Yes,’ Sigurd said. He always was a man of few words.
She placed the food down on the table. ‘Now help yourselves.’
Sigurd helped me to my feet. I felt like I had not eaten in days. I was famished. Soon, my nostrils were filled with the smell of warm bannock, salted gannet and for the first time, it did not make my stomach roll. I ate greedily and my belly was happy.
‘I will prepare the horses,’ Sigurd said getting up from the table. ‘Are you sure you are well enough to travel?’
‘I am.’ I smiled. ‘I look forward to returning home.’
