“You built this perfect world for yourself here but took away the one thing that made ours right. Do you understand that?”
I nodded. I did understand it, but I’d convinced myself I would never get better, so I stopped trying. What was the sense? Looking at Clay now, how could I not realize what I’d done?
“You weren’t the only one who was selfish,” I told him. “I thought my life was over and I’d never get it back. I ran away from my problems, instead of trying to face them. I’m sorry for what I did to you and Mom. I know I’ll never be able to make up for the hurt I caused you both.”
He gave me a sad smile. “And I’m sorry for trying to force you to change. Be who you are, Matt. If you’re happy, then I’ll do my best to be happy for you.” He turned to Charlie. “As for you, I was an asshole. I asked for your help and then didn’t like the results. I didn’t even look to see how happy Matt was. I’ll be honest, I don’t think he’s smiled much since he left. When I look at him now, though? You helped him. At least he’s coming to terms with himself.”
“I am. That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about,” I said. A quick breath, a glance at Charlie, and I told him why I’d wanted him to come over. “I’m going to go back to therapy.”
Clay blinked a few times. “Seriously? Please don’t tease me about this.”
“No teasing,” I promised. “And I have you to thank for it.”
He seemed rattled. “Me?”
“You sent me Charlie. He made me want things, like a life outside of these four walls. Oh, I don’t intend on moving. Charlie’s going to live here with me, but I want my family back. Do you think you can accept him?”
“Yes!” Clay shouted. Then he ducked his head. “Yes, definitely. Like I said, what happened was my fault, and I’m very sorry about it.”
Charlie held out his hand, but Clay surprised me when he pulled him into a firm but gentle hug.
“You’re a good man, Charlie Brown,” Clay said, then snorted.
Much of the tension I was feeling dissipated immediately. While they talked, I went around and touched my treasures again to remind myself that things were good and hopefully would get better from here on out.
