CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHARLIE WASstill asleep when Clay called early the next morning. Apparently Charlie had been busy while he was in New York, enlisting the aid of my family to get our wedding ready. I wasn’t allowed to know the details because, as Charlie said, I would fuss over every one of them. Clay was to give me my itinerary and make sure I got to every place I was supposed to go.
“Noon on Christmas Day,” he said. “Before that, we’ll get you a new suit, go through the guest list, and have the bachelor party.”
My hands were jittery as I thought about the fact that in two weeks, I would be getting married.
“Am I making a mistake?” I asked, needing reassurance.
Clay laughed. “If you have to ask….”
“No,” I admitted. “I’m sure of how I feel about Charlie. Did he tell you how he proposed?”
Clay huffed. “When I told Trish, she squeed like a little kid. Charlie really raised the bar. I don’t know how I’m going to top that.”
That piqued my interest. “Oh? Are you planning on asking Trish to marry you?”
Clay coughed. “Don’t tell her, okay? Charlie gave me two tickets to a Broadway play that she’s been raving about.Hamilton, I think she said it was. How he got them, I don’t know. He said it was probably best if I didn’t ask. I want to take her there on New Year’s Day and spend a week. He had his assistant set it up for me. If you think you’re nervous, imagine how I feel.”
“You’ll do great,” I promised. “She’s an amazing person. And she’s getting one of the finest men I know.”
Clay sniffled. “I owe Charlie so much. Not just for what he did for me, but what he’s done for you. For us. After all this time, I never thought I’d have a chance to have you back in my life.”
I started to say something, but Clay cut me off.
“And I mean, however you are. If you and Charlie want to just stay out at the cabin and continue on the way you have been, I’m for that. At least as long as you’ll allow us to visit you. It doesn’t matter how we do it, I just want to be part of your life again.”
A heavy weight settled on my chest. Guilt over what had happened was one of the things Dr. Rob and I were working on. He assured me what I was feeling was perfectly normal and I shouldn’t allow it to control me. He reminded me I’d handled the situation as best I could, given the circumstances. When I tried to protest that if I had stayed in therapy I might be better by now, he cut me off and reminded me every journey is unique. He said I couldn’t judge myself against anyone else. If it had been Clay who was assaulted instead of me, there was no way to determine how he’d react. I tried hard to keep that lesson in mind.
“I might need time to myself on occasion,” I told him. “Things are a lot better than they were, but there isn’t really a cure. I can only learn how to cope as best as I can. But yes, I’d really like to see you and Mom as often as possible. Trish too. Especially if she’s going to be my sister-in-law.”
“Thank you, Matt. I’m glad to know you like her.”
“Nah, I love her. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger. I like watching her make you squirm.”
“Wow. All these years, and you’re still an ass,” he teased. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”
It gave me a warm feeling to talk with Clay like this.
“So what’s up first on the agenda? Suit fitting?”
“Yup. We’re driving to Bangor and spending the day there. Maybe we can stop for lunch, if you feel up to it.”
I liked the plan.
“I do have a favor to ask of you, though.”
“Uh-oh, here it comes.”
“Seriously. What would you say about you and Charlie spending Christmas Eve and morning with me and Mom at her house? We’ll decorate the tree together, just like we did when we were kids. Maybe share some old memories, and make a few new ones along the way.”
I didn’t even have to think about that. “It sounds like a great idea.”
Charlie strode into the room and came over to where I sat. He rubbed his hand along the back of my neck, grabbed my mug, then headed for the coffeepot.
“My fiancé is awake. When do you want to head to Bangor?”
“I’m off tomorrow, if you have the time.”
