Immediately he was by my side. He held my hands to steady them and helped me put the ornament at the top of the tree.
“It’s beautiful,” he whispered to me, right before he buried his face in my neck, kissing me gently.
“It looks perfect,” Clay said.
Charlie pulled me back to the couch, and the four of us sat quietly, each lost in our own thoughts and memories.
Afterward, Mom served dinner. My stomach was still knotted, and I didn’t eat as much as I could have, but the food was delicious. When we’d finished the meal, we retired to the living room again, to bask in the presence of the tree. Mom, Clay, and I sat up until nearly midnight, catching up. When I asked Charlie to join us, he begged off, saying I needed the time to reconnect with my family, but if I needed him, he’d always be there for me.
I sat and listened intently as Mom told me about going back to work part time as a crossing guard for the local elementary school. She only put in fifteen hours a week, but she loved having the chance to be around kids. I nudged Clay and told him he’d better get on the ball if he was going to give Mom a grandchild to spoil. He turned it back on me and said that more and more gay men were having families, and Charlie and I should consider it for ourselves. I quickly changed the subject, but the thought was planted in my head. Maybe it would be something to talk to Charlie about at some point.
Sitting around the kitchen table, the same one Mom had when I still lived at home, was strange. It seemed as though almost no time had passed, but the reality of the situation was still evident. We kept the conversation light, none of us seeming to want to disrupt the tentative bond we were rebuilding. That was okay with me. I was content just sitting there and simply being Matt.
As we talked, the conversation turned to Christmases I’d missed. There wasn’t any censure on their parts, but there was a prevailing sadness that the three of us shared. When I tried, yet again, to apologize, they both stopped me and said they wanted to look to the future and hopes of many more holidays together. I knew they were trying to be nice, and I accepted the wish.
Mom went to bed a little after midnight, reminding me that someone—not mentioning any names—would be awake early to open gifts. Clay sputtered and said he’d outgrown that phase long ago. She gave me a knowing wink, then went on to bed.
Clay got up and made us each a cup of cocoa. He stirred in some marshmallows, a treat from when we were kids, and then we went back into the living room and sat staring at the tree. I counted the seconds until Clay couldn’t stand it anymore.
He picked up a box and gave it a shake. “It’s going to be clothes,” he complained. “I miss the model race cars and things like that. Remember that year she gave us each a radio-controlled plane?”
I laughed at the memory, because it had resulted in the two of us going out to play with them. We’d argued over which was fastest, who could fly higher, and then which one would come out on top if we intentionally crashed into one another. Suffice it to say, neither did. Each of us pointed at the other as bits of plastic and metal rained down, trying to shift the blame, when we both knew we had both been at fault. Mom just shook her head over the whole mess and made us clean it up.
I finished my drink, washed out my cup, and put it back with the others. As soon as I closed the cabinet door, strong arms encircled my waist.
“The bed is lonely,” Charlie complained.
I turned and received a kiss. When I tried to say something, Charlie pointed above the door at the mistletoe. “I’m not standing under it,” I said.
“Preemptive kiss,” he claimed, then took another.
“You two look good together,” Clay said, entering the kitchen to put his cup into the dishwasher. He gave us a wistful smile. “Though it does make me wish Trish was here.”
“She’s coming in the morning, right?”
Trish worked overnight for the Gianettis, stocking shelves and doing general cleaning. It was where she and Clay met, in fact, when he stopped in one night, desperate for a coffee fix. It wasn’t much as far as a job went, but they paid her well, and she said they treated her like she was valuable, and she appreciated that.
“She should be here by five. Mr. Gianetti told her she could have the night off, but she said there wasn’t anyone else to work. She can’t wait. She’s never been to a big old gay wedding before. I told her the two of you would be dressed up in lavender tuxes, with enormous pink boutonnières. I don’t know if she thinks I’m serious or not, but the look on her face was well worth it.”
Charlie shook his head. “I’m so glad I’m going to be a member of this family,” he stated. “You all are awesome.”
A quick shrug of his shoulder, a grin, and Clay announced he was going to retire for the night.
I nudged Charlie. “He’s going to be up at four, trying to get the rest of us to wake up and open gifts.”
“You know I outgrew that, right?” Clay said again, but not too convincingly.
His indignation made me laugh. I had missed Clay during the holidays. He had a warm, giving spirit. Mom had told me the sheriff’s office ran a Toys for Tots drive every year, and Clay spent hundreds of dollars to ensure that every kid in the area who needed a happy holiday would find something under the tree with their name on it. As proud as I was that Clay was the sheriff, the fact that he grew up to be a decent human being was even better.
