“I’d play with you all the time, Graham. Hurt you so sweet. I’d fuck you, roll your balls in my hand while you worked my cock, milked me for my come. Nothing but pain while you brought me pleasure. Would you be greedy for it?” he asks, leaning closer, lips brushing Graham’s as he talks.
“I am. I am. Anything!” Graham seizes hard, breath held, eyes closed, straining as he tries to come. There’s a ripple up Graham’s shaft and Colton thinks the man’s going to come, but then Graham collapses forward with a whimpering cry.
Colton checks. There’s a wet spot but no big release. He gently pets the inside of Graham’s thigh.
“Are you trying already, honey?” he asks, even though he knows the answer.
“Yeah. But I can’t. It just… it justwon’t.” There’s a hint of frantic worry in his tone. He’s afraid, Colton realizes. How could he not be? He’s known to the doctors and his bosses as unable to find release, as needing to be hospitalized and drugged to function. When so many other soldiers suck and fuck and get their needs met quickly and easily, his have become a nightmare.
“Fuck, I want you,” Colton says, knowing he’s the answer to Graham’s dysfunction.
He slides his hand to Graham’s neck, gripping him before he remembers. He yanks his hand away. “Sorry.”
Graham moans in pleasure. He’s so out of it he doesn’t seem to notice. And even though he said he didn’t want to be gripped, it’s obvious he does.
Colton kisses him again, sets his hands on Graham’s ass, and forces him to rock forward and back, working his balls again. “Try again, princess.”
Graham gasps and shakes with each movement. Tears slide down his cheeks. “More,” he begs.
“Good boy,” Colton praises.
“I’m gonna—” Graham breathes.
“Yeah? Are you gonna come for me?”
Graham leaks, his cock bobs, and Graham bites his lip hard, concentration focused as he tries to come. He doesn’t. He exhales sharply and lets out a sob. Almost instantly he’s straining again, arching forward and back in another attempt to come.
He gives up, collapsing forward with a sound that breaks Colton’s heart. His cock is purple, his balls large and swollen.
“You’re alright, sweetheart.” But Colton’s getting worried, too. The need and struggle are taking a serious toll on Graham. With each failed attempt to come, Graham is more disheartened. He drops lower, becomes weaker.
Where is the balance in this? Does he get so weak that the drug can finally do its work?
Graham kisses Colton’s jaw sweetly, reverently. Then he whimpers as he rocks and tries again. He’s trembling and his eyes are wet, red-rimmed and defeated, almost broken. Is this what it’s always like?
“It’s okay. You’re alright,” Colton whispers, pressing their foreheads together. He hates how alone Graham is.
“Touch me. Please, touch me. I’m—” Graham swallows hard. He’s ashamed. “I’m begging you now. S-sir,” he says, as if he’s never said it before. “Please? I want to try. I’ll be good.”
It breaks his fucking heart. “I can’t, baby. That’s not how you do things.” And he wants to destroy something because this is an utter disaster and no one should have to live like this.
“You’renot how I do things,” Graham whispers.
Colton can tell he’s thinking rapidly, trying to come up with a reason that would make Colton change his mind. “And how I do things doesn’t work well. This is just so I can be back in a week and a half. This isn’t… it isn’tgood.”
“I’m sorry. I want to, but we can’t make that decision now. You’re not in a place to give consent. Next time.” He presses his lips to Graham’s, rubs his back and his thighs, wanting to settle him. Graham would hate him if he took advantage and actually did what Graham was begging for. The man wanted nothing to do with him an hour ago.
“No, fuck you. This is theonlytime unless you touch me right now,” Graham growls, twisting like he’s going to get off Colton’s lap.
Colton grips him hard on the shoulder next to his collarbone, and Graham shudders, his cock jerks, and Colton thinks this really is it. This will be the moment Graham goes over. And it’s clear Graham does too, suddenly changing focus and trying hard to come.
He gives up with an explosive sigh. There are more tears, and Colton can see and feel how ashamed and sad Graham is as he slumps forward onto Colton’s chest.
He presses a kiss to Graham’s sweaty forehead, and Graham swears at him again. He isn’t sure how much of Graham begging for his cock he can resist. Colton shoves two fingers into Graham’s mouth to shut him up, and Graham opens his eyes comically wide in shock, then sucks as if his life depends upon it.
Graham moans shamelessly, whimpers, and rocks to and fro, willing his cock to spend. Another spurt of come but no release. Graham is in pain and it’s getting worse. He’s slipping away from Colton and into a downward spiral.
He can already tell how this will end: a weak release because his body is so worn down, a descent into a vicious drop, and Graham once again certain he’s a submissive that deserves to be alone. He’ll look back at the one time he gave in to his urges, to how it didn’t work well, and he’ll never try again.
