“I understand.”
Graham laughs, an ugly sound. “Do you? You’re a Dominant and the whole fucking world submits to you. What do you fucking understand?”
“I understand you don’t have a choice. Your designation puts you in a precarious position. I’m sure there have been a lot of offers to submit to men you don’t want to.”
“I’d kill myself before I’d be a hole,” he snarls.
A hole is slang for a submissive that is available for free use by any Dominant that qualifies. There can be as many as twenty different Dominants a submissive is expected to service and be responsible for if they’re classified as a hundred on the submissive spectrum.
They don’t last long. A year, sometimes two. And when the submissive snaps, they’re put in storage. A submissive like that doesn’t get eliminated when they break down. They’re put away for later.
Rehabilitation will be attempted if the military thinks there’s a chance.
Is that something Graham is worried about for himself? “You’re only ninety.”
“Onlyninety?” he sneers.
Colton raises a hand in apology. “I mean, they only take hundreds.”
“You are so fucking young,” he says, sounding disgusted. “Young and naive as shit. Fuck, I need to get the hell out of here,” he says and turns away from Colton.
Even the idea of walking away from Colton is too much because he flinches and stays where he is.
8
“Are you dropping?” Colton asks, though he’s pretty sure of the answer.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Graham growls, glaring at Colton.
“Come on. You’ve gotta give me more credit than that.” He’d hoped that them working well together, Colton easily following Graham’s lead and completing this exercise without problem, would have settled Graham’s hostility a bit, but apparently not.
“Do I? Why do I have to give youanyfucking credit? Because you showed up and followed orders today? One time you were obedient to a commanding officer, and I’m supposed to just… what? What do youwant?”
“I want to make sure my commanding officer on this mission is feeling okay. That’s it.”
“Bullshit. You want to take over. Probably want me—” Graham cuts himself off, cheeks flushing red as he becomes aware of how close he’s moved toward Colton.
Colton keeps his gaze down because he isn’t trying to get into an argument. He counts to fifty, thinks only of counting, and doesn’t let his emotions get involved. Then he does a breathingexercise because an agitated submissive needs a calm Dominant and he wants Graham to see the difference between him and the others he might have met.
Graham’s disgust, anger, and fear of Dominants must have come from somewhere. Colton is a good Dominant. He has a high designation and he has control. It’s everything to him.
The moment he raises his gaze, Graham starts up again.
“Don’t look at me like that. As if you helped me because you care. I know exactly why you?—”
Colton crosses his arms, closes his eyes, and looks down. This is not him. This is Graham’s designation issue, and he isn’t going to let Graham provoke him into a response.
“Exactly,” Graham finally says, laughing unhappily.
“Exactly what?” Colton murmurs, keeping his voice low.
“Youdon’tcare. I knew it. Did you get paid or is it just a promotion? A young man like yourself won’t pass up an opportunity like this no matter how unsavory the task.”
Graham’s interpretation of what happened between them is so insulting and diminishing of their connection that he can’t help but laugh. And what the fuck does that even mean? Who was unsavory? Is he insulting himself or Colton?
He shoves off the wall, does a little bit of his own pacing to put some distance between them. He isn’t thinking clearly. He’s responding to Graham’s aggression and emotion and he doesn’t want to.
All he’s done since the moment he was forced to let Graham go is fantasize, want, and agonize over the man. What they did together was intimate. Life-changing. Colton won’t ever be the same after taking care of Graham.
