But instead, I let out a slow breath and squeeze his hand one last time before pulling away.
Hopper notices, but he doesn’t say anything.
And neither do I.
Because this?
This is dangerous.
This is me getting too comfortable.
And that’s exactly what I can’t let happen.
Chapter Eleven
Hopper
Having Nysa in my house might have been the worst decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. Sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s probably just like that. It’s not because of the trouble that follows her like a storm cloud or the fact that Maddie is already completely smitten with her.
No, the problem goes deeper than the ocean. It’s all the fucking questions. The look.
It’s her.
She’s pretty, sure. Not just pretty, beautiful. Gorgeous. That much was obvious even back in high school. Not that I ever saw her like that, she was three years way too young. I was too busy with senior girls to give her a glance.
But now? She’s pretty in a way that makes me lose track of what I’m doing, in a way that makes me feel like a damn teenager again, fumbling for words. And then there’s the way she watches me, her head tilted like she’s trying to figure me out, prying without even meaning to.
And I let her.
That’s the worst part.
There’s the fact that I tell her things—things no one has ever heard before. Things I’ve kept to myself all this time. She shouldn’t know them. I should keep them locked away, buried where they belong. But I don’t.
She needs to stop asking. Just stop.
I don’t do questions. I don’t do this. Whatever this is.
And then I almost kissed her.
Almost fucking kissed her.
When she was looking at me like . . . like I needed to be loved. Like she could love me if I just let her. Like she could tend to the wounds on my soul, kiss them better and never let the pain seep through my body again.
That’s not something I need.
She should stay the fuck away from me.
Love doesn’t appeal to me. It’s never happened to me. I’m too old to believe in it.
But she probably deserves it. To be loved, to be missed by someone who notices how perfect she is, how beautiful and magical she is.
Honestly, that’s something I can’t do.
I don’t know where we would end up if I dared to kiss her.
But I know myself, and I don’t mess with good things. And she’s here because she needs protection, because Maddie likes her, and because Maddie’s happiness outweighs my discomfort.
So, instead of making a mistake I can’t take back, I stood up and left her sitting there by the fire.
