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Not for his father, not for Maria, not for anybody.
He wasn’t enough.
Leo’s arm over his shoulder was a heavy weight leading him to the wooden bench on the veranda and pressing him down onto it.
Maybe if he’d had a big brother all along, rather than discovering him at the age of thirty-two, things would have been different. But he hadn’t.
‘Do you ever feel like your whole life is unravelling in front of you, and you can’t move fast enough to piece it back together?’ His voice didn’t even sound like his, Seb realised. Too low, too raw. Too desperate.
But Leo just laughed, a darkly amused sound Seb hadn’t heard from him before.
‘What do you think?’ Leo asked. ‘I spent my whole life thinking that no one wanted me, that my own parents had thrown me away, only to discover one day that they’d been searching for me almost my whole life. And then, when I was ready to meet them, they died before I got the chance.’
‘And you got stuck with me and Noemi instead.’ Yeah, that must have been a pretty big let-down.
‘Actually, I kind of think of the two of you as an unexpected bonus. A silver lining maybe,’ Leo said, and Seb looked up, surprised.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, I thought I’d lost any chance of ever having a family. Then I came here and met you two, and then Anissa...and now there’s Max and Maria and Frankie, plus Noemi’s babies. Suddenly I have more family than I know what to do with.’
‘Maria and Frankie aren’t staying.’ Seb’s mood dropped again at the reminder.
‘Ah.’
‘Yeah.’
Leo stretched his legs out in front of him, leaning back against the bench. Almost unconsciously, Sebastian followed suit. Leo’s legs were longer than his, he realised, even though they were more or less the same height. Yeah, being the little brother really was going to take some getting used to.
‘Do you remember what you told me when I called you from New York?’ Leo asked, after a long moment of silence.
Seb tipped his head back and tried to remember. It had only been a handful of weeks ago now, but somehow it felt longer. Like his whole world had shifted again since then, with everyone coming home to Mont Coeur.
Leo had been in New York with Anissa, wooing her, or whatever it was that smooth, American-raised secret older brothers did. But he’d screwed it up—Seb had to admit that slight sign of fallibility had made it easier to warm to Leo—and Anissa had run when Leo had asked her to stay with him.
‘I told you to wait,’ he said finally.
‘You said that if I loved her, I had to give her space and respect her decision,’ Leo corrected. ‘That I had to let love decide what happened next. And that I should let Anissa come back to me—if she wanted to.’
‘And she did, of course.’ And now they were blissfully happy. Good for them.
‘So did Maria,’ Leo pointed out. ‘I mean, she’s here for Christmas, isn’t she?’
‘Only because I called and asked her to come.’ Okay, begged. It wasn’t a moment his pride felt particularly good about. ‘And like I said, she’s not staying.’
He’d given her space. He’d respected her choices. And it hadn’t made one bit of difference.
Leo sighed, and Seb couldn’t help but feel he wasn’t getting whatever point his older brother was trying to make.
‘What I’m saying is...you gave me some good advice, and I’m glad I followed it. But I can’t help but think you’ve been following your own advice a little too long.’
‘Too long?’ Seb frowned.
‘Maria’s been gone for, what? A year?’ Leo asked.
‘About that.’ Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to admit that he knew it was, in fact, twelve months and fifteen days.
‘Well, waiting on love is all very well and good. But maybe sometimes love needs a bit of a push. A bit of effort.’
Love. He loved Maria—of course he did. She’d always been a part of his life, part of the family, and he loved her as much as he loved Noemi or his parents. But theirs had never been a romance as such.
Maybe that was what had been missing. Something to think about at least.
Leo cleared his throat, obviously a little uncomfortable about the very personal turn the conversation had taken. They didn’t really know each other well enough to be baring their souls, Sebastian thought. He’d been astonished when Leo had called him from New York to ask what he should do about Anissa—until he’d realised that his brother simply didn’t have anyone else to talk to about such things.
And neither, it seemed, did he. Noemi would be firmly on Maria’s side, as always. His parents were gone, and his other friends, business acquaintances...he’d never even told them Maria had left in the first place. He’d had to keep up the facade of the perfect businessman and family man after all, even if everything about his life, family and business was crumbling around him. If anyone had asked, he’d just told them Maria and Frankie were visiting her parents for a few weeks. Making sure Frankie’s grandparents didn’t miss out on watching him grow up.
The way his own papà had.
‘Actually, I didn’t track you down out here to talk about your love life,’ Leo said.
‘I appreciate you not adding the word “dismal” in there,’ Seb joked, making Leo smile. ‘So, what did you want to talk to me about?’ Whatever it was had to be better than the unending panic and echoing sorrow about the state of his family.
Leo took a long breath. Then he said, ‘The business.’
CHAPTER THREE
WITH A SIGH, Noemi settled onto the bed beside her, and Maria smiled gratefully as her sister-in-law wrapped an elegant arm around her shoulder.
‘So, are we finally going to talk about why you left?’ Noemi asked. ‘I mean, apart from the fact that my brother is an idiot.’
Maria felt a stab of guilt. It wasn’t just Sebastian she’d left behind when she’d run—it had been her best friend, her whole family. She’d always felt closer to the Cattaneos than her own parents, and not having any siblings of her own, Noemi and Sebastian had filled that gap.
Yet every time Noemi had tried to talk to her about Sebastian over the last year, Maria had changed the subject. She just hadn’t been ready to admit how stupid she’d been over the whole thing.
Who expected a marriage of convenience to blossom into true love, outside the movies and romance novels, anyway?
‘Why do you think I left?’ Maria stalled, knowing it was cowardly even as she did it.
‘Why do I think you left? Or why does Sebastian think you lef
t?’ Noemi always had been too perceptive for her own good.
‘Both, I guess.’ Maria couldn’t deny a certain curiosity as to Sebastian’s reaction to her departure. And heaven knew he’d never talk to her about it.
When he’d found her packing, the day after that awful argument, he’d asked her to stay. And when she’d refused, told him he’d never understand, he’d stood aside and watched her go. But she knew he’d been thinking she’d come back soon enough and he just had to wait her out.
Well, he’d been wrong, hadn’t he? And then he’d been too proud to ask her to come back. Until now.
Noemi tilted her head to the side as she studied her, then nodded, as if satisfied by what she saw. Maria didn’t dare ask exactly what that was.
‘I think he thought that you were feeling neglected,’ Noemi said. ‘I mean, the moment you came back from your honeymoon he threw himself into the expansion, folding your family’s business into Cattaneo Jewels. Even I noticed that he was working all hours—more than he had before, ever—and that didn’t change when you had Frankie.’
‘No. It didn’t.’ The memory of those lonely days was too close to the surface for her not to feel it all over again. The aching loneliness that came from being with a baby, all day long, with no support. Seb had suggested they hire a nanny, of course, so she’d have some help—it wasn’t as though they couldn’t afford it. But since Seb had stopped involving her in any of his business dealings or conversations the minute she’d fallen pregnant—claiming he didn’t want her suffering any stress at all—she hadn’t seen the point. She loved looking after Frankie, even when it was hard and lonely.
Next, he’d suggested baby groups, which she’d tried but had never really felt she’d fitted in with. Besides, all the other mums and babies in the world had been unable to give her what she’d really wanted. Needed, even.
Sebastian’s support.
Sebastian’s love.
Unfortunately, it seemed that Sebastian was incapable of giving her that.
