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‘Because it matters to me. Because I need to have the full truth out there before I can move on.’ She gave a light shrug. ‘And because Thea told me to.’
‘Then by all means,’ Flynn said with excessive courtesy, ‘talk away.’ It wouldn’t make any difference. It couldn’t, not now.
Helena sucked in a breath then paused as if she hadn’t expected the permission to be granted so easily. She took a sip of whisky before she started to talk.
‘When I was sixteen, I snuck out of the house to meet an older boy, one I knew I wasn’t supposed to see. He took me over to his friend’s house, said we’d have a little party.’
Flynn shifted in his seat. He didn’t want to hear this, didn’t need to hear this. ‘And you were all about the parties, right?’
Helena ignored him. ‘When I got there, they gave me a drink, then another one. And another—maybe more. I wasn’t used to alcohol so it affected me quickly. But I wasn’t so drunk that I didn’t tell them to stop when they tried to take my top off. I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t scream when they raped me, one after another. I knew they were lying when they said afterwards that I was plastered, that I’d said yes and I just couldn’t remember. But I was too ashamed to argue.’
The glass toppled from Flynn’s hand, rolling across the rug and leaving Scotch in its wake. Flynn watched it go, a solitary focus in a world that was shifting around him, spinning until he didn’t know which way was up any more.
Maybe you didn’t even know who the father was. He’d said that and she’d winced. Because she hadn’t known. Because two men had taken that away from her. Had taken everything. And now she sat here relating the story in a perfectly matter-of-fact voice, as if she were putting herself apart from the memory so it couldn’t hurt her any more.
He wanted to reach out to her, to touch her, to tell her he was listening now, but what right did he have? And what good would it do when she was leaving him anyway?
‘I knew there was a chance I wouldn’t have been able to look at my daughter without remembering that night, without reliving it.’
‘And that’s why you thought you couldn’t love your own child.’ The words rasped in his dry throat and Flynn grasped tight on to the arms of his chair to try and stop his world from tilting so far it tipped him off.
‘After that day, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to love anyone or anything again,’ Helena said, and when her gaze flashed up to meet his Flynn felt it all the way deep in his soul. ‘But I did. I fell in love with you, even when it was the craziest, riskiest thing I could do. And it still wasn’t enough.’
Flynn swallowed, unable to find the words to respond. Helena drained the last of her whisky and put the glass next to a stack of paper on the desk before getting to her feet.
‘I gave up my child, did everything our parents wanted, and it still wasn’t enough for them. Eight years later, I married you to try and make up for my past mistakes and that wasn’t enough either. So, you know what? I’m done trying to be enough for anyone else. I’m good enough for me. I’m not a monster, whatever you think.’
‘Helena—I didn’t—’ Flynn started, but she held up a hand to stop him.
‘No. You’re not talking. You’re listening, and then I’m leaving.’ She swallowed and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. Fine. She wanted him to listen? He’d listen. And maybe some of this crazy mess would start to make sense to him at last.
‘I was a child, and I was taken advantage of,’ Helena went on. ‘I did the best I could then, and I’m doing the best I can now. And if that’s not enough for you? It’s your loss, Flynn. Because I didn’t want you as a CEO or as an heir. I wasn’t going to push you aside because I found a better option. I just wanted you. I wanted the future you painted for me in your wedding speech. You talked about how you can’t plan for love or schedule romance—and then you went and tried to do just that. But I didn’t want some spreadsheet setting out when we had sex, or had kids, or when you should buy me flowers. I wanted a real marriage—love. And that’s so much more than anyone else has ever offered you.’
I just wanted you.
The words echoed in his brain until he could hear nothing else. Grasping at the arms of his chair, he tried to push himself up, to reach her, reason with her. ‘Helena. I...’
‘No.’ She shook her head, blonde waves flying, and he knew again that he loved her. He’d used her lies and the adoption as an excuse to push her away before she could hurt or leave him. When all along she’d offered him everything he’d ever wanted—and never believed he’d deserve. ‘I can’t...’ She bit back a sob and Flynn felt like the worst man who had ever lived. ‘Look, read this. Then we can talk.’ She thrust the stack of papers from his desk into his hands and he stared at it, confused.
By the time he realised what he held, the door had swung closed and she was gone.
He wanted to follow, wanted to fix things, but he didn’t know where to start. And Helena had just given him the best clue he was likely to get.
Their marriage contract, except now it was covered in Helena’s handwriting. The same loopy scrawl he’d seen on the back of that invitation on their wedding day, promising they would figure everything out once they were married.
Well, now that time was here.
Pouring himself another whisky, Flynn settled down to read and hoped against hope Helena’s words would tell him how to make this right.
* * *
It was five days before the doctors finally agreed with Thomas’s protestations that he was ready to go home.
Ever since he woke up the first day he’d been demanding to be let out, but Isabella kept telling him, ‘I almost lost you, Thomas! So you are staying here until the doctors say it is time to go home.’ The tone in which she said this ranged from calming to almost hysterical, depending on how belligerent he was being that day.
Helena had stayed back, letting her mother-in-law deal with him, knowing that she was the only woman he’d listen to anyway. But she’d visited every day and even managed some short civil conversations with her father. Thea’s first visit had elicited rapid beeping on Thomas’s heart monitor as he’d berated her, but Thea had taken everything he’d thrown at her without losing any of the serene calm she’d come to possess since running away with Zeke.
Then she’d told him in no uncertain terms that she was happy, living her life the way she wanted to, and anyway, had Isabella told Ezekiel she’d left him yet or were they waiting for him to guess?
That shut him up for almost half an hour.
But once they were all back living in the Morrison house again, it was harder to ignore the fact that Helena was there and Flynn wasn’t. Or that Isabella wasn’t leaving and no one had spoken to Ezekiel. Helena knew that sooner or later this all had to blow up in their faces, but she was happy to ignore the fact for as long as possible.
Until, in fact, Isabella decided she wanted to throw a party.
‘It can be a welcome home party for Thomas, to celebrate his...well...’
‘Survival?’ Zeke suggested when his mother trailed off. ‘Continued health? Heart attack?’
‘His life,’ Isabella said firmly. ‘We could make it an engagement party for you and Thea too, perhaps,’ she added with a sideways look at them.
Thea and Zeke exchanged a glance that only lasted a moment, but appeared to convey a whole conversation.
‘Actually,’ Zeke said, ‘it’s a bit late for that.’
‘A bit...late?’ Isabella’s eyebrows rose.
‘After we left Italy...we took a flight to Vegas,’ Thea explained, and Helena clapped a hand to her mouth to hold in a whoop of laughter.
‘Las Vegas,’ Isabella said for clarification, in the tone that Helena imagined she’d probably use to say ‘a brothel’.
‘Please tell me you were married by
an Elvis impersonator!’ Helena thumped her brother-in-law on the arm. ‘And I can’t believe you didn’t tell me immediately!’
‘She nixed the idea of Elvis, unfortunately,’ Zeke said. ‘But yes, we got married.’
‘Well.’ Isabella appeared at a loss for words, which Helena thought might be a first. It also didn’t last very long. ‘In that case, we’ll have to make it a rather larger affair. We’ll have it out at the estate, rather than here in town. I’ll go and call the planner right now.’ She started to head for the door, then paused and turned back to face the three of them. ‘I know I...well, I might not have always showed this, but I think you did the right thing. All of you. Sometimes love is bigger than propriety and gossip. And sometimes you don’t know how long you have... Anyway, I would like to celebrate the marriages of my sons.’
Thea stepped up and kissed Isabella on the cheek. ‘Thank you. That means a lot.’
‘When are you going to tell Dad you’re leaving?’ Zeke asked.
Isabella gave him a sad smile. ‘If he hasn’t noticed that I’ve gone by now, he probably never will. But yes, I have a meeting with him and my solicitor tomorrow. We’ll keep everything civil and low-key. We all owe each other that much.’
It was hard to imagine, Helena thought, after all these years, that Isabella would officially step into the role and life she’d been living secretly for so long. Maybe it was a good thing, maybe not—but she wouldn’t wish her father on anyone else so maybe it was just inevitable.
Isabella had always loved Thomas more than her sons, or his daughters. But until now she’d valued her social standing and reputation more than love. That shift alone...could it be the making of a new Isabella?
‘Helena,’ Isabella said, breaking her out of her musings. ‘You did the right thing too. It might not feel like it yet, but I believe that it will.’
Helena tried to smile but the sadness within her wouldn’t let her. Flynn hadn’t called in the days since she’d left him in the library of what was supposed to be their home. The truth hadn’t made a difference in the end. So even if marrying Flynn had been the right thing, for him it was still outweighed by all the wrong things she’d done before.
