Hope you’re having fun at Disney, but I need you to get your ass back here. I mean, Lorelei is definitely a lot cooler than I expected, but I honestly can’t take much more of this.
Also, I wanted to keep my mouth shut, but I can’t. You cannot let the uncles sell the diner. I cannot do this alone. Not just the shop. EVERYTHING.
There’s a photo of my chair, back in its usual place, with a brand-new sign above it that says, “Reserved for Kenna.”
I’ll find somewhere else for the bassinet. Or the kid can sleep in a stroller. Doesn’t matter. You can never be replaced. You CANNOT LEAVE ME!!!!
I text her back a screenshot of the Continuing Ed. course.
Wanna do this with me? I’m going to need all the support I can get if I want to convince the uncles to let me keep and run the diner.
What? Are you serious? Yes!
Happy face emoji. Clapping hands. Confetti. Relieved guy with the sweat drop.
I am serious.
I smile.
Thank the Lord! Best news ever.
Next, I scroll down to the message from Xander, which is bracketed by several rows of flame, star, and heart eyes emoji.
OMG, girl. Did you see this?!!!
The screenshot shows a post taken from the DILFSofDisney Instagram account. There’s a whole carousel of shots, starting with Rafe carrying Orly on his shoulders and ending with him kissing me by the benches near the Thunder Mountain Railroad exit. The caption reads:
Titanium Man’s her daddy! Rumors about the longtime relationship between Rafe Barzilay and costar Lorelei Dupont appear to be confirmed during this magical trip to the happiest place. Just looking at these makes us feel happy and other things. Lucky, lucky Lorelei. Really(heart emoji)her new look, too.
Well, shit. I hope that Lorelei is not too upset about that. And I also hope that whatever is going on between her and Noah Greenberg isn’t going to come back to bite me in the butt.
Finally, I scroll down to Lorelei’s messages. She’d agreed to pick me up at the airport this morning, in my car, so that I could drive her back to the guesthouse at the estate, and then head home to my own apartment. I’m going to miss the mister and the high-thread-count sheets.
Still planning on picking you up tomorrow. We’re going to open the DNA results, right? Hope you haven’t peeked. I’ve been dying to look all weekend.
Actually, I’d almost forgotten that we’d agreed to go over the DNA test results when we swap back, but now I am curious. Although the odds are pretty low that we’re actually related, I’m curious to see what else the tests might have turned up. I’ve been reading that these tests can also show stuff like a genetic tendency toward dyslexia, fear of heights, and cilantro aversion.
There’s another text from Lorelei, sent just a little while ago.
On my way. Up since the ass crack of dawn, which is really saying something about how excited I am to see you and go over those test results. Last night was epic. You’re driving home from the airport.
Epic as in?
Please do not tell me I had a one-night stand with anyone that I was not physically present for.
A few minutes later, I finally get a response. It’s the same photo of Rafe and I kissing that Xander sent.
Hello, Pot.
Not the sam thing! He knw who I rlly was. And he kissed me!
I misspell words in my haste to defend myself, but send the message anyway.
Calm down. I told Noah the truth before anything serious happened. He knows I’m not you.
Oh, thank God. And he was ok with that?
I’d bet he was more than okay with that. Not to be rude, but Noah Greenberg is kind of a nerd. Nice guy, but a little bookish and rough around the edges.
