“Change of plans,” the techie says. He must have snagged my fan while we stepped out, as he mists himself and basks in the coolness. “Rob thought it would be more dramatic if we mix it up a bit.”
Back on the set, Marco is still hamming it up, chatting with the robot. “Oh I am so nervous, Cupidbot. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what I should do?”
“Open it, Dude!” Darwin yells.
“I’ll go on a date with you, Marco!” Lacey offers. He turns to blow her a kiss.
“Okay, here goes nothing,” Marco tears into the envelope and a stream of confetti and waterfall of cards fall out. “Oh my!” he mocks shock. “I think that is the whole deck! Marco is so flattered byeveryonewanting to date him. But there is only one card I am looking for… could it be?” He bends to pick up a gold foil-embossed card with my face on it. “It looks like it is!”
“Get out there, Isla.” The techie holds the tent flap open and gestures towards the set. “Rob wants you on camera. It’s your moment to shine.” He mists himself again.
For God’s sake.
I said I’d put up with a little light flirting, but this is ridiculous. Rob could have been a little more explicit. But it’s too late to do anything about it now. I wish I hadn’t misted off most of my makeup.
“You don’t have to do this,” Jackson growls at me.
“In for a penny, in for a pound,” I sigh.
Pasting a smile on my face and thinking about book sales, I walk out onto the set to greet Marco. I tolerantly allow him to kiss my hand, closing my eyes to hide the eye roll at this act. When I open them, Rob shoots me a thumbs up and indicates I can get out of there. He pantomimes walking fingers, waves, and blows a kiss.
Obediently, I blow Marco a kiss and then I skedaddle, back to the relative safety of the tent.
“Put on your dancing shoes, mi amore. It looks like we have a hot date tonight. Now let’s see who else chooses each other!”
Beside me Jackson is tapping out a message on the temporary phone to show to me. It’s simple and to the point.
WTF is happening here? This is total bullshit. Did you know?
jackson
“I just want the best for all of the contestants. I want them to be happy. Whoever they end up with.”
~Isla Fairfax, Playing With Matches Confessionals
“We’re not goingto tell you who you’ve matched with, till the next episode,” Marco trills.
This isn’t what was supposed to happen today. Today was supposed to be about revealing the matcheswe’dmade. We were supposed to be taking turns with the reveal. One for me, one for Isla, and one we’d both agreed upon.
No wonder why Rob had relegated us to the tent. And the robot? My software personified as a dumb droidy sidekick named Cupidbot? Total bullshit. Insulting.
But not as stupid as the product name that I single handedly came up with.
Had nobody thought to point it out before now? Surely someone else had seen it? My skin feels too tight.
I’m not comfortable speaking in front of the crew member, so instead I type out a message for Isla on the loaner phone. I’m pissed. At no point did Rob mention that the show was going to be a free-for-all, with contestants choosing their own dates. This isn’t what I signed on for.
WTF is happening here? This is total bullshit. Did you know?
I show the message to Isla, watching and trying to gauge her reaction. She shrugs and shakes her head a little, then she reaches for my phone and taps in a response.
Talk later
If any of the contestants couple up and get too cozy before we reveal the matches, the whole thing is likely to get blown. We’re in a tropical paradise here, with open bars and dreamy sunsets. It’s sexy, it’s romantic, and it’s going toruin everything.
How can we expect any of these people to do the right thing when the wrong thing is right there in their face, sharing their space and giving them a hard-on?
I click my pen in my pocket till the tech guy gives me a warning look.
