“But everything is free,” Marco says, baffled by this.
“It’s just a joke, Marco,” I explain, exasperated.
“Oh, yes. You mean that the loser must go to the bar to pick up the drinks.”
“Sure.” I stand to get in line behind a tweenager. “Isla, will you time us when we’re up?”
She sighs. “Okay, you guys, but honestly, I need to work. After this, I’m putting in my earbuds.”
“Got it,” I say, looking doubtfully at Marco. “Don’t worry, this shouldn’t take too long.”
When it’s my turn to surf, the attendant hands me a helmet. “You been on one of these before?” he asks.
“No, but I’ve done the real thing,” I say confidently, failing to mention that the last time I was in an ocean anywhere near a board was at least twenty years ago. I wave at Isla, who’s watching now, and tap an invisible wristwatch, reminding her to time me.
“Ah, righteous. You got this!” The attendant slaps me on the back and gives the board a shove, propelling it to the center of the nonstop, rushing wave. The nonstop, rushing crushing wave that picks me up and slams me back down so hard that I forget I can’t breathe under water. I skin a knee and come up choking and sputtering.
Still in line, Marco is laughing. Several of the little boys standing beside him are also laughing and pointing. I glance at Isla. She has her hand over her mouth and a look of horror.
“Oh my God, Jackson. Are you okay?!” she calls out.
“I’m fine! Fine!” I shout and pop back up. “I forgot I like to surf goofy.”
“No,” Marco says, “you did not forget. YouareGoofy.” He snickers with the small children.
“It’s okay, Man. Do over. Go again,” the bored attendant flags a lifeguard, and he hops into the simulator with us. This time when I get up on the board the two of them walk it to the center of the wave, holding it steady so I don’t wipe out again. “You good?” the attendant asks. I give the thumbs up sign and slowly they let go and back away.
Fifteen seconds later, I’m back in the gutter. Who knew this damn thing was so hard? It must be rigged for kids.
“Still fine!” I smile and wave at Isla and the other resort guests who have started to gather. One of them has recognized Marco and is shooting a selfie with him. It’s triggered a chain reaction as several other guests flock over to do the same.
I console myself with the certain knowledge that I am about to see Marco landing flat on his ass, as well, and climb out of the small pool, unstrapping my helmet.
“Here you go,” I say, passing the helmet to Marco.
Marco scoffs and tosses his signature chestnut locks. “Oh no, Marco doesn’t need the helmet.”
Because Marco is already brain damaged?
“Suit yourself,” I say, taking my place on a nearby bench.
The attendant counts down and gives Marco a shove. I hold my breath, waiting to hear the splat. All around me, guests are filming. This could end up being a viral TikTok, I think, with a small amount of malicious glee.
And then Marco does a trick. He jumps up on the board and switches directions. Then he switches back. He shakes his butt and holds up two fingers in the international signal for “hang loose.” I hold up a single finger in my armpit for the international signal for–
“He’s really quite amazing at this, isn’t he?” Isla comes to sit beside me, phone aloft and filming as she gazes at Marco with budding admiration.
His run lasts a full five minutes, during which time he does multiple kickflips, a full 360, and stands on one leg. An even larger crowd amasses to cheer him on. When he finally steps down - not because he falls, but because “Marco wants to give the kids a turn,” everybody claps.
* * *
At lunch time,the three of us head to the beachfront cafe near the pool in the Mediterranean Village. We settle into a picnic table.
There are assorted board games set out on the tables. Backgammon, chess, and on our table an oversized version of Jenga. I stack the wooden pieces into a tower, trying to ignore the non-stop buzzing of my phone in my pocket.
I made the mistake of looking earlier, and apparently my wipeout is making the rounds on social. Marco made sure the kids tagged me when they posted it, using that famous 60s era song as the sound.
Now I kind of wish I hadn’t hacked my phone. I can’t unsee the videos and I can’t respond.
